anything and nothing

well new moon was great. iv so far seen it 4 times on the big screen hehehehe. i really enjoy it. today it snowed it was so wonderful i was stading outside staring up and watching the snow fall it was weird it was falling in layers i think it was really pretty. kinda been mean to my family, i guess im doing the pull tighter push away further. i do it to everyone i can hold on to someone for so long b4 i push um away and if they stay ill hold on and do the same thing again. i hate school i want to bee done with it no matter what. i hate going there and being with those people, i want to stay alone in my house. i want to be able to wake up and be like awww sweet lonelyness. i dont want to get a job i dont want to support my self i dont want to grow older i want to stay young i want a life that isnt the same as everyone. they all work work have babys work date school. were stuck this world is stuck on repeat. there might not even be a after life and were all stuck. id give anything to be unstuck to not die ever to live to travel to see everything to know everything. i know no one reads these things im saying but if there was someone who did what would you say to this to my only wish did you laugh, did you stop reading and say wtf is up with this chick?? im not insane im not immiture like ppl would say. iv known what i want if i could have it id be complete id live everyday everynight id do something if i never had to die id never grow tired of life, i wouldnt ever wish for death, even if i was to be alone forever ppl dont want to think about this but i do. If there truly is a beeing who could live forever what is it that i could give you wat is it that i could do for you to be the same as you.


dont read into it i only state what is true, id never lie on here. even if no one is reading these. i dont care if no one sees me im okay

love katie

well this week sucked. iv been sick since last sunday which was not fun. sunday started off with stumic ake and the worst head ake of my life. monday i was dizzy, stumic ake, and felt like puking, tuesday i felt great which is weird. wednesday umm the night i had a soar throat and felt sick. thursday my throat hurt so bad and my back was killing me i couldnt barlee move without wanting to cry so yea. i started to feel somewhat better after that.
kenz wanted to come over i guess i was scard to have her over which is weird but i guess when im away from someone for a long time i lose how to act around them. i have to re-learn my actions and words and personality. dont ask i act diffrent with each person. my family im a bitch with opinions and will say no and will be messy lazy and sadistic. with friends i differ im either really happy go lucky or im im ganna hate everyone im ganna act mean and im ganna be sweet too. and other stuff, while at school im the proper girl i do what im told and i think to my self I WANT TO FUCKING KILL YOU ALL. yup its true i hate almost everyone there not everyone but pretty close. sometimes i want to lose it and just say FUCK IT but i cant i need to be good. i dont talk to much ppl and thats good bc after high skool y would i ever see them again there all fucked up all drugies who will either kill them selves or end up being killed or worse going to jail. im nothing like these piece of shit skums. im a good person iv never done drugs, i dont drink, i dont yell at my parents abt stupid shit, i dont get into fights, i dont steal, but i do say what i want out of the area of that skool i may be sadistic person who wants everyone to go fuck them selves even find it amusing when somehting horrible happens. i may pray for someone to die because i hate them, i may wish them so much pain that its leaking from evey pore of themselves but im not like thos ppl at my skool.

anywho i cant wait for new moon so excited. dont know what ill wear that day but w/e its all good right right.
i need a job asap i need to pay ppl back im now over 4000 thousand dollors in dept kool huh and i aint even 18 yet funny huh. well its all good one day right lol.

well gots to go read until death do us part its a great non love kissy kissy manga i know rite its so diff from my usuall heheheh

love katie

yea

umm feeling really down so im putting a pretty pick that i took in arizona on here..

hard day

my day started off horrible, my aunt picked me up and the first thing she does is hand me pictures. oh noo there not good one either. "here take a look at these" .....
my cuzin has been cutting from one end of his arms to the other there are so meny cuts that i couldnt talk. my voice has been gone all day iv ben whispering and i dont know what to do. my aunt is getting him help but its not working he went from bad to worse. ex threating to kill everyone to cutting him self wtf. so when i got inside i think ppl thought i was ganna cry which i was trying not too.... i got to my first period and made a new friend still in shock so yea. from then on it was crapy-good. evil bitch is now in 2 of my classes and i want to kill her can i can i plz!!! lol i really wouldnt but i hate her so much. shes one of the moms i feel bad for the baby.

right now im not okay....

love katie

halloween ended and my birthday is a month away

well my halloween wasnt all to great but it wasnt all to bad either... i dressed up :) i looked awesome too yaya me. i loved it when people screamed and i went trick or treating without getting candy lol it was kool. but i got really lonely and depressed everyone else had someone to hang with and talk too. i didnt my friends couldnt hang out. alex lied about comeing over and kenz couldnt. sarah is kool i hung out with her sorta with her friend natasha it was fun we went for a ride and i actuly liked it lol. ger is mine...

today is my bros b-day it wasnt all to good for him im sad for him...
the tickets went on sail grrr

love katie