gr stupid thinking

yesterday my family (not me) built picnic table in the back yard. so we can have more family time :(. great :( more time with the people who ignore me most... and while eating with them i utterd the most unpossible thing i could have. i wish to wash my mouth out with soup anything!. see its a name a very evil name that was to be one possible out come of this torture. but fate has it that that shinning ending was stolen with a single word. now its all lost and i utterd that name and almost fell apart its been 3 to 4 years why now??.

anyway im bored bored bored been reading and watching my anime :). its great great great loveing it realy. deleting everyone on my cell is my duty today :) maybe i should just turn it off but how would i speak to C to get me after skool... dang it i almost had a great idea to bad.

anyway another day another monday. great more skool i hate that place for real. but i guess its better then normal skool. even tho i dont know what a normal high skool is like since iv never been to one so w/e

well ttyl

um well

well today i don't feel so well...spencer spends to much time at my house its weird. skool sucks as usual. but iv made more friends which is great, i just hate being so alone. ummm laura had gotten burned a week ago it was really bad. lately iv been doing what iv done so meny times in the past years. iv tryd so hard to stop it so im thinking of deleting my accounts on a website. grrr maybe i should its not like i care i hardly talk to anyone on there. besides im sick of people. i hate makenzie i want to see her cry is that so bad? i hate her so much god its so true. i even hate alex i hate them all. whats wrong with me why do i hate my friends??? am i going crazy lol. oh yea i hate mariah to shes turned into such a bitch. i needed her help really badly and she wouldnt help me because she didnt want to stupid bitch. my parents are driving me crazy but i got 50 from them so ill save that. easter sucked its just another day right why celabrate, everyone let me sleep all day i didnt even get to see laura open her egg basket no one cared that i wanted to see that grrr

center stage soundtrack songs/artist and when they played

"Raise The Barre", Laura Karpman f/ Medussa (opening dance sequence)
"Give It All I've Got", Bekki Friesen (second main title song)
"Balloon", Sara Haze (Kate sees she hasn't been accepted to ABA)
"You Should Be Gone", Christelle Radomsky (first song at nightclub)
"Turn Around", Soul P (second song at club in the background)
"Burnin'", Ms. Triniti (first song Kate dances to at the club)
"I Ain't Goin Nowhere", Soul P (song in background immediately follow Kate's dance)
"Num Num", The DNC (plays in background at club as Tommy asks Kate for help)
"Loosen Up", Golden f/ Sophia Shorai (Kate tutors Tommy)
"Mista Ambarosia", The Spectaculars (plays in club as Suzanne and crew arrive)
"Don't Sweat", Ms. Triniti f/ Qmillion (remake of "Don't Sweat the Technique" recorded specifically for this movie; plays as Kate and Tommy throw down at the club)
"Paper Plane", Lucy Schwartz (plays at end of ice cream scene in Kate's apt)
"A Part In That Show", Chris Joss (training montage)
"Act Like You Want It", X5 f/ Mr. Fang (plays in bg at club before Kate's angry dance)
"Inside Outside", Miss Eighty 6 (Kate dances to this song at the club before Cooper arrives)
"Swing Baby Swing", The DNC (Kate and Cooper's duet at the club)
"Nobody Hot As Me", KU (song in bg after Kate and Cooper's duet)
"Rainmaker", Sara Haze (Kate runs through streets)
"Ten Things To Prove", Amali Ward (Kate's little sister dances at the club)
"24", Jem (Swan Lake performance near end of picture)
"You Belong", The Skies of America (end title credits)

IM SUPER HAPPY!

yup dats the truth im happy!!!! ok iv made more friends at school and my work out programe thing is working mom says soo ( hahaha ok ok embarrassing). um makenzie sometimes texts me but we havent hung out in like a month or two is that bad?. alex hardly talks to me her bf broke up with her which is a great thing. mariah still acts like a total bitch. tanner is doing great but hes the meanest little boi iv ever watched. my family is doing ok i guess. still getting yelled at to do the cleaning and cooking hate it. ummm going to grandmas house for easter (hopefully). itl be fun and if its great i can drive around yay. spencer is back from brazil he still cute but thats our little secret but now hes such a player. omg hes dateing like 5 girls. his parents wants him to get married asap how sad. and all his friends either are married have kids or died.... ok ericks bf died while spencer was a way it was really sad hes just so broken now... kayla stoped bye but i didnt go say hi why should i shes the one who didnt come to me right!

i just read beast master great monga

IF ANYONE HAS GAIA ADD ME
mizzzkt

0.o

bought a new book, its about vampires and love. noo its not twilight lol. this is about a girl who was born as a vampire who goes to this skool of vampires. who have new students that are human she falls in love with a human and bites and drinks blood for the first time. 0.0. lol ok right now im having trouble breathing with sucks hahahah i think its my nerves lol. im on my space playing with the pets on it. I LOVE TWILIGHT. ITS COMING OUT ON DVD ON THE 21 ILL BE AT WALLIE WORLD AT LIKE 9 TILL AFTER MIDNITE HEHEHEHEHE YAY. umm yea i was writing to the writer i hope she reads what i gots ta say :0. well i dont know what to write about hmmmm nothing to say lol
im very loling huh hehehehe.
ttyl

um idk ok

no one notices if you miss a day of school because no one cares that your there or not? that the people who talk to you really do wish you would disappear. do they understand what its like to be all alone? i spend every day alone. no one calls me no one asks if i want to hang out. my old friends have forgotten me and my new ones are fake ones who only talk to me cuz im there. is it true that no matter what it doesnt matter that i will always be alone that my one wish will never come true? have i fallen so far that iv lost my self. when im asked a simple question of whats your favorite color it changes bc someone likes that color so i have to like it too. that my old friend hated something i liked so i stopped liking that thing i like to find out that it was the only thing holding me together. so i fell apart when my friend left me. if you ask me if i wanted to hang out id probably just say no. bc first of all i wouldn't expect you to talk to me then second i would dream of you to ask me to hang out and third it would just hurt. is it so wrong to hate you, to hate me. can some one see how much it hurts everyday. how alone i am in this world. i hate me they hate me. but the stupid thing is every morning i stair at my self in the mirror and wish why cant i be pretty like them. i try and look cute just to see if anyone can notice. and when someone says " you always look so cute " you see right threw it you know there lieing. so you try harder to find that theres no way you can ever be cute. hahahaha i should just give up but im not. NO ONE EVEN NOTICES IF IM THERE OR NOT!! bad thing is ill just keep trying

i figured who i am

i am the one who walks in the hallways with my head held down,
i always walk out the door with a sad frown,
i wait and see if anyone notices me,
but im almost always invisible
to everyone around me,

even if you talk to me
your secretly wishing why me,

i sit away from everyone
which isn't true you sit away from me
as if im the pleg
or is this is a avoid her game,

i dont wear makeup or perfume,
im not even pretty,
not always gitty
i dont know how to be like you,
iv given up on trying too,

i go home alone,
and do nothing but sit,
how can you blame me for being like this,
i try not to cry,
but its sometimes slips,
is there away to get out of this?

can you possibly save me from this hell
possibly get me out of my shell
i lay awake hopeing for this
can you make fun of me for doing this

but now i see
its not me
its you
and i shall change
these things that i do
ill prove you wrong
ill prove im right
im better off alone
tonight




sorry i was bored and well im not realy good at writing poetry ( and my published one wasnt that great :( )