sadness

iv ruined everything he hates me. well hates the way im acting i cant help it now he wants me to not talk to him anymore :'( more crying im so pathetic.... what do i do i only wanted him no one else.... should i just give up again??? he was so wonderful i over did it i regret what i did regret trying to hard if i could do it over i wouldnt have did those things are asked for more. I was the worst gf ever and it made me lose the best guy ever....
i cant believe im whining about this im sorry

break up

he broke up with me ahahahah :'( i cant stop crying. i know it wasn't that long of a relationship but... i was so happy..... i didn't even want to wake up this morning i kept praying for me to never wake up.. but i did and i cant seem to stop crying. it hurts it really hurts i thought that i could be with him. i wanted a future with him. id of done anything for that. And i was so stupid to think that anyone could ever love me. Blog guys suck he was my first kiss. That day he made me feel so pretty and wanted. i just wanted to see him again was that so wrong. was it so wrong to want to talk to him. maybe i was to clingy. but the truth was it felt like he was pulling away the night i went to see him. after that it broke, it hurt that he didn't want to talk to me abt his problems. i was his gf y couldn't i help him. I shouldn't have even asked if i could i kept making him mad. Im new at having A REAL LIFE BF. im so used to having phone/online bfs that i didnt know what to do how to act. overwhelming that i just held to tightly. And now i cant stop crying. iv lost the best thing that ever happend to me i was so happy. i dont know what to do anymore, sure i had problems but doesnt everyone. yea mine are bad real bad but is that a reason to stop loving me.. maybe he never loved me maybe i was used........ but i dont want to think of him that way i loved him. I love his eyes i use to hate brown eyes but when i was his they were so pretty and his personality was so diffrent that i loved it. I didnt care if he had a job or a place to live damnation. He was mine.... hes not mine. i cant breath now it feels like im not getting any air and i cant stop the tears. will it stop hurting all i ever thought abt was him.... i trusted him

on nov 4

On November 4th i went and saw zack, he is my boyfriend. :) hes sweet to me and were dating. i got my first kiss that night it was perfect. we were watching new moon and then it just happend and other things lol. He even told me he loved me like a million times but i had told him i loved him too. lol its going great were actuly dating. This time its real. Isnt that wonderful for me?? yup it is and im so happy. I even got to try new things but i think what i need most is a bath lol XD

O.o

The things below i got from Disney Recipes :) there related to Halloween. Well kiba tryd cheating on me so me and him have been over for a long time now havent felt like getting on and stateing that but since im on might as well right? ryne has a new bf chance he is awesome and chance seems to want to find me a bf funny huh but he says im his fav person lol him and ryne are engaged how cute is that. Very cute kenz is dating chances younger troubled brother she has yet another guy in the string of men shes leaving behind lol o.0. I kind of met chris he works at a food place iv been going too since i was a little girl its totaly weird and i find him very cute in person i was tooo shy to talk to him lol. next time ill be like hey chriss was up lol :) oh having no period roxz cant believe that im pre-diabetic it sucks no sugar for katie no cake for my b-day no icecream makes one want to cry and jess is a total bitch about it she makes fun of me and eats all the sugar she can stuff in her face right in front of me when hello she too could be pre or diabetic she just doesnt understand how stupid she really is i simply hate my sister sometimes o.0 oh and my neighbor is still the biggest bitch evar!!!!!

Jack Skellington Cupcakes

uch as he wanted it to be, Christmas did not turn out to be Jack Skellington's forté. Still, with a bow tie that resembles a bat and a pet dog whose nose looks like a glowing Jack-o'-lantern, Jack remains king of Halloween. After all, who else do you know that can remove his own head and put it back on again none the worse for wear? Inspired by this remarkable trick, these cupcakes make a sweet, if nightmarish, Halloween treat.

You'll need:

Batch of chocolate cupcakes
White buttercream frosting
2 toothpicks
Tube of black decorator's icing
Instructions:
Frost the cupcakes.
For each cupcake, use the tip of a toothpick to lightly etch the outline of two large Jack Skellington eyes in the frosting.
Slowly pipe black decorator's icing onto the etched lines and then fill in the inner circles. Use another toothpick to spread and smooth the icing.
Pipe on two short lines for a nose. Next, pipe a long line across the bottom of the cupcake for the mouth. For the finishing spooky touch, randomly top the mouth with a bunch of short icing barbs.

Poison Apple Cookies

o create the infamous "wishing" apple that puts Snow White to sleep, Queen Grimhilde dunks it in a green potion that briefly reveals a goblin face before turning skin an irresistible shade of shiny red. Covered with sweet green frosting, instead of potion, these Halloween cookies are equally tempting. And you can rest assured they won't send you off to the land of nod!

You'll need:

Template for Poison Apple Cookies
Batch of sugar cookie dough*
Red food coloring
Pair of disposable kitchen gloves (for kneading food coloring into the dough)
Rolling pin
Flour
Wax paper
Spatula
Baking sheet lined with parchment paper
Wire cooling rack
Green cookie icing
Thin pretzel sticks broken in half (you need one half for each apple)
Raisins
Kitchen knife or scissors
* Note: For the best results, the sugar cookie dough should be on the stiff side. You might have to knead a little extra flour into store-bought doughs so the cookies will hold their shape well during baking.

Instructions:
1. Wearing plastic kitchen gloves, knead red food coloring into the cookie dough (this is a fun job for kids). Wrap the dough in plastic and keep it chilled until you're ready to use it.

2. Print and cut out the template.

3. Heat the oven. Cover your work surface with flour-dusted wax paper, and roll the dough out to 1/4-inch thickness.

4. Use the template and a kitchen knife to cut out the cookies, and then bake them according to the recipe directions. Transfer the cookies to a wire rack to cool.

5. Working with one cookie at a time, gently press the broken end of a pretzel stick half into the top of the apple. Then generously frost the upper half of the cookie with green icing, spreading it right over the base of the pretzel. Use the knife to create a wavy lower edge so the icing looks like it is dripping down over the apple.

6. For eyes, press whole raisins into the icing. Snip a third raisin in half and use one piece for a nose.

Disney

If you go trick-or-treating in Donald Duck's neighborhood, you're apt to end up with a treat bag full of corn. Not your standard cracked kernels, but a more festive variety befitting the holiday: sweet frosted candy corn cookies. With a little cookie icing, you and your young masqueraders can whip up a batch just like them in no time.

You'll need:

Large round soft baked sugar cookies (homemade or store bought)
Kitchen knife
Cookie icing (look for it in the baking aisle of the grocery store)
3 small bowls (for the icing)
Red and yellow food coloring
Plastic wrap
Butter knives (for spreading the icing)
Instructions:
Use a kitchen knife to slice the cookies into triangles (the ones pictured here are 3 inches tall and measure about 2 1/4 inches wide at the base). You can save the cut off portions to snack on later or enjoy them while you're frosting the triangles.
Put a quarter of the cookie icing into a small bowl (this will be used for the white tips of the candy corns). Divide the rest of the icing between two other bowls, and use the food coloring to tint one of the bowlfuls orange and the other yellow.
Now it's time to frost the cookies. Start by using the tip of a butter knife to coat the middle section of each triangle with orange icing (keep the white and yellow icings covered with plastic until you're ready to use them.) You don't have to be too fussy. The nice thing about cookie icing is that it seeks its own level, resulting in a smooth surface. Plus it hardens fairly quickly.
When the orange icing has set, frost the bases of the triangles yellow and let the icing set up.
Finally, spread white icing on the tips of the cookies, let it set, and the cookies are ready to serve.

:( sucks

Kiba sucks butt!! we were not dating but he told me he wanted to date me.... then he tells me that he only likes my as a friend that he loves exersizing more then me :'( that is totally gay idk what to do. I wanna cry but iv cryd so much and im sad. i really wanted to be with him. i give up

crazy days, lives, and friends

I like my best friends ex bf. Well okay i adore him, hes just adorable. Hes so sweet to me and we have a whole lot in common. Like i love the hold so does he, and anime and how i want to travel to japan like for a while and werewolf and so much more. hes so great i almost talk to him almost everyday :) It will be our first time not speaking for three days. See im going camping with my family and were bringing trever. But im really sad cuz ill miss kiba so much hes so great.

im annoyed at my friends

It all started when kenzie started hanging around me again. See we havent seen much of each other allot in the last two years. So shes been spending days with me. But at the begging she was dating this guy, who has a whole lot in common with me. And we go see him and hes acting like an ass to her from out point of veiw. But later that night he calls me and tells me whats up. How if she actuly got out of her car and walked with him they could have talked and hung out because he was at work and couldnt just stop working. Well she didnt do that she stay by or in her car 90% of the time. So when he says something she leaves and later breaks up with him. I told her to wait a week before breaking up with him because she would regret it. Well turns out i was right she regreted it and wants him back. well he says no that he doesnt want to date right now. Not her anyway. And me and him become really good friends. Well she asks me not to speak to him so i lie and say im not which is bad but its like im addicted to him. Well i was feeling bad about it for a week and i disided to tell her the truth. Shes mad and ever since has been telling me that she would have left the guy if he was my ex and i asked her not to speak to him. But yea okay hun but i dont want to leave him. I KNOW IM A BITCH FOR THIS AND I KNOW SHES MORE IMPORTANT BUT IM ADDICTED TO THIS ASSWHOLE AND I CANT STOP MYSelf. Its weird i cant help my self and now everyday she hangs out with me she complains and says she will find me a new guy and to talk to other guys more and blah blah blah but what about what i want. He may be an ass to me but not as much as an ass to her and yea what he wants from me and me to do for him is such evil that its rude but i like him. see he wants me to go on a diet to become skinny if i ever date him and i have a time period. First off lol i aint doing it id like to but i wouldnt change myself for anyone but me so im going to work out and do become skinny but not for him not for my friends or family. IM DOING IT FOR ME. im worth something great just like everyone else its just hiding


now for some reall shit.
Angela the bitch, whore of a neighbor accused me of stealing her shit. Why the fuck would i take her shit. there fucking poor and crazy. I dont steal at all. they dont seem to beilieve me but what the fuck would i want her newspaper her sons shoe and now her stupid fucking bike??? i dont want them i dont want anything and she doesnt believe me.

It all started like this>> this is the truth and i would never lie to you blog

angelas kids were in my yard when i walked out taking would from the rose bushes. I asked what there doing and they told me taking back the wood laura STOLE from them. I told them there acting like 2 year olds and that laura wouldnt understand that stealing so they leave and im out front waiting for my friend to pick me up. then angea the whore comes over and asks me what i told her kids i told her that i told them there acting like 2 year olds. she tells me that is disrespcectful and its harming a child. ( bitch iv asked every mother in the neighborhood its not harming a child)she then tells me to not speak to her children so i called her a bitch to her face and she walks off. My mother comes out side and i tell her what happend.
Then i leave.
one our two days later im home playing on the computer all day or reading my book and then im with my friend makenzie blah blah blah angela comes over and asks very rudely to speak to me i didnt want to talk to her but i go out to. She asks if iv seen her newspaper i tell her no cuz i havent and she tells me shes asking if i stole it because im the only one mad at her. I tell her no why would i steal your newspaper and shes like "well your the only one whos mad at me So its best to give back my newspaper right now before later on" Shes like telling me she knows i have it and i should give it back right now and shes looking at me very rudely i tell her that i dont have her newspaper and that it would be the stupidest fucking thing to take. I cant remember everything else but she leaves and i go down and tell my parents that angelas accusing me of stealing her shit. so my moms yelling at her for accusing me of shit and angeals saying really mean shit so my mom tells her to get off her land. Angela says its the states land cuz sidewalks dont belong to people. so she leaves then comes back with her husband tells my mom that shes sick of us and how we live and shes being very rude to laura like very rude like im going to hurt you mean so angela is crazy PPL be care full around my neighbor!!!!!!!!!!!!

now shes accusing me of stealing her bike lol shes a fucking whore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What do you do when you lie to your best friend. It gets easier each time, does that mean shes really my best friend or the person i keep around? Lately all i do is lie to her and it doesnt even faze me. It comes so easily and i cant believe she accepted it. Like take this she breaks up with her bf which is my newest friend. And then ask's me to stop talking to him, i of course told her i did. But i really did was change his name in my cell and said i stoped talking to him. Is this horrible or what lol. I havent seen that one doctor lady yet mom takes forever. But i have been watching more vampire show's like true blood, moonlight, wes craven presents Dracula 2. I love the vampire in this movie towards the end he is yummy looking lol. Mia had a baby kitten i dont remember when thats the problem but shes soo tiny and cute.

ok i dont feel so good so going to go now

love

katie

well i did what i didn't want to do most! I went to the clinic and got checked by a doctor. I told about the bump and my period problem. Turns out my aunt had the same problem with her period, so i guess thats okay. But not sure about the bump, the side pains are gone. The doc had put me on some really good medz. I was told there the best pain killers and people go crazy just to get them. o.0 weird huh. I am so excited about graduating nervous though i have to raise my grades asap. Sarah and my other friends are going to lagoon for w/e reason. I felt so left out, like in the past that i almost cry'd how bad is that. So i made my self walk away, i didnt want to cry again in there. Oh yea last week i went to doctors ( stated this already) but the reason i said lets go was because i started to cry like a baby in the hallway after my art class. My side had been hurting for the full two hours o.0 yes i know thats long. And so i just burst into tears when the teacher made me come back and collect the paper towels of the table. I even was hyperventilating which isnt good. And Terry J asked what was wrong. So yea nothing good nothing to bad to tell. ^__^ me is reading Usagi Drop its a great manga, and is re-reading skip beat itl be my 5 time re-reading it i simply love it.

well gtg

Love Katie

im not giving up im accepting my fate

im starting to lose face
im starting to not feel okay
wondering what im losing today
what ill lose tommarow
it hurts knowing i dont have long
its not okay to see what i cant have
to never know what itl feel like
i dont want to hurt you i dont want to leave you either
but time is running out
im ganna be gone

life conflicts

today iv been in so much pain i felt as if i was going to pass out or scream. o.0 yup my stumic is having cramps but thats not as bad as my side. oh god it hurt so much i wanted to scream and scream. well i found out my friend jj is into girls. thats fine shes a great friend. im gland kiki jj and i are friends. were going camping i cant sleep im ganna bring the pain killer medz. watched vampire diaries it was awesome so good soo good. got my jostins stuff yup im graduating so excited so nervous dont know if i can do this uggg. lol


love katie

o.0 wow

"Kiki Marie What people don't realize is that the person that hides away the one that keeps behind a mask of a fake smile or an I'm ok those are the people that need someone there for them the most those are the people that need a friend just to say hi or a hug because those that don't feel they have something to live for will be lost and there is no greater tragedy then when an innocent soul withers."

my friend kiki posted this on her facebook. And i can tell you this is how i feel. But im not looking for that stuff anymore

would you rather suffer or die of fright??

im terrified of dentist/doctors/shots/pills/medicine and thats just the beginning. My mouth has been killing me yes iv been trying to deny it but heck cant do it no more. IT HURTS SO MUCH ;.; tears uggg. i think ill have to get teeth pullled if im not asleep i think ill die of fright or kill the person trying to fix my owie o.0 is that horrid or what. i was told the last time i went to a dentist was i about punched him o.o that was when i was in 6th grade -_- and no i dont have good teeth i want to be put to sleep if he has to pull me teeth i will beg and then ill beg some more but i think ill have to have more then one tooth pulled o god im ganna cry

no love

katie

i rode the 4-wheeler X) i was so nervous but i concord my fear and hell yea it was fun! i even climbed up the hill like mountain o.0 it was amazing yup yup. had easter fun burt my finger, droped all our food o.0 made new food tho so im a clutz. came home got my sister and mom into a huge fight lets just say blood flew hair came out and jess left for a week. shes back living on your own isnt easy now is it! i already knew that teens these days im not sure whats up with them but there all dumb. skool is ok i guess im finding that i hate going there i hate being there hate it i loath it but i have 2 months to go then i graduate PPL SAY THEY MISS HIGH SCHOOL WTF DO THEY MISS?? i can understand missing the friends that you will lose but other then that what is there to miss really. i hate that terry the art teacher whenever i paint he makes me feel like an idiot and saidie is such and artist look at her go shes just like that painter on tv GAHHHHHHHHH WTF TERRY she paints ok sure better then me ya but you know what YOUR AN ASS WHOLE :) yup yup my face is killing me my jaw is too and i disided that i wont give up i just accept my fate im not going to give up till the end that might be sometime soon or not but lets hope for the not part :(


love katie

well iv been up to nothing lol. excited though were going to the desert for spring break. Its nothing as good as everyone else fun but whatever. i passed all my classes yay my lowest grade was a B lol im not sure i got on honor roll but almost lol. its like a 3.700 to get honor roll. i got it the first semester the second i was a 3.5 im not sure about this one i dont know how to tell. im getting more excited for eclipse and the up incoming twi-convention yay. o.0 been reading alot of manga thats ok its just grrr so tired. im kinda feeling depressed what do i do??

well not a whole lots so

ttyl
love katie

o.0

well i went to the new moon release party thing at walmart meet 3 of the stars :) it was great. Sarah and her mother were there, so we got to hang out. It was fun until i left with sarah to do twi-bingo. and when i came back my sister was gone. and they were letting us into the area where the Q-A thing was going on so i left all our things with these girls and sarah and left it to go get my sister. but we fought bc i blamed her im so awful. so they wouldnt let us in so we went to the back and i went up front to see if we could get our stuff back. the lady was so nice she told me to go get my sister and my neice and rondo and she would let us all in :). yay. kenz came over again it was fun we watched my sisters keeper i had little tears she cryd alot lol.
the moon has been looking sad again... i remember when my phone got turned off and i had no way of contacting anyone and i felt so lonely and i was at school. so i was waiting out side and it was dark an the moon was a full one so bright in the night sky. but the thing is it looked sad really really sad and i started crying! at school omg, anyway it was weird but that was a while ago lol.

well im reading koko ni iru yo! its a good manga i read it b4 im in ch 2 and im already crying if anyone reads this and likes manga go to that one you will understand how i felt in middle school. the exact same thing but i was never seen im still invisible its just less painful now

well gto
love katie

tish tosh

hmm lets see i didnt go hang out with kiki lol actly iv been walking on my treadmill yay me. i know i know i must do my bbc :) i want to lose weight need to do this. i so sad the las veges twi-con got cancelled how gay huh. :( so jess is getting her money back ( we hope ) skool is ok i skipped another class iv got to stop doing that (sigh) i hate science it is my worst subject ugg so is math. i painted the best pick iv painted so far it so pretty. im thinking of getting a cell phone yay me. makenzie came over without asking so we hung out went with her to wash her car we talked at least i got outa the house right?? its been snowing i love snow so much so cold so soft and pretty :). i think alex is a bitch im never speaking to her again. and i found out that ashley is a pot head wtf WTF LOL grrr. oh yea her name is ashley i figured it out. i find that i love shrimp taco mmm yes lol well im having fun and im going to start to work harder i need to do better lol

love katie

OMFG

well theres this trip thing that happens a couple times a year. to every country and guess where i want to go JAPAN OMFG i must goo!!!!!
might be able to hang with kiki. i skipped one class with saidea and went to sams club shes awesome

nada

well iv been doing nada, went to see that movie the crazies or something rather. bought the tickets for the las veges Convention saweet huh? im reading a manga called black bird its cute and im reading pride and prejudice and zombies lol its great i love the pride and prejudice movie so yea. kenz and i havent hung out sad huh. kiki wants to hang out maybe i should plan a fun day ya? well i cleaned my room its kinda funny what you find when you clean o.0.

love katie

dddd

http://www.mangafox.com/manga/oniichan_to_issho/v03/c013/7.html

dont forget makay

i havent been feeling to good, been having bad head ake. it comes and goes... iv found a bump somewhere unpleasant maybe im really ill and going to die. i dont want that maybe i should go see a doctor but thatl cost alot and we need the money. im not sure what to do... justian came over this weekend he was ok at first but over time i want to strangle him is that bad or what?? i miss kenz she barlee talkes to me i used justains phone to txt her and her replys are barlee nothing what would happen if i did die would she just be like w/e were not friends anyhow. God please please dont punish me like this, ugggg. if i have to die i want to know if there is an after life at least give me that lol. but i really dont want to bring me some vampires and yea ill be good. maggie is pregnet i cant wait for her to have her puppys i hope there blues puppys then theyl be sooo cute.

well gots to go
love katie

FRONT ROW SEATS TO TWI CONVENTION OMG

well just been doing school, tried to talk to kenz she messaged me back. though it wasnt anything good (sigh) i miss how we use to be, but iv changed. getting excited abt skool good i know lame. reading a manga kiss to my prince its cute :). went to that nickle arcade it was fun sorta i guess. found a new awesome site ( well actly its not new i just new to it) its called menewsha its cute :) like gaia but sorta better but sorta bad. (sigh) well im not sure but ill be going now

love katie

feb

well went to jostens meeting got my graduation packets. i dont know which ring im getting but i know for sure itll be cheap dont want to make my parents pay alot. :( even tho the ring i want cost alotish (sigh) schools ok handed that test in passed yay. bought another packet in it i have to read Who Moved My Cheese for teens. so far so good i guess. havent talked to Makenzie shes ignoring me now how sad. Taylor is like my new awesome friend tho shes kool she is fitting in with my friends more then i am its kinda sad but you know what im happy when im with them. been reading lovie novels again there so great i love love love cow boys!!! thats a secret tho no one i know knows that i love c-bs lol. watched the 1st and 2nd season of true blood and i loved it omg the blond vamp mmm mmm mmm hes sooo fine even tho hes like old omg so cute tho. but godric was such a cutie i cant believe he killed him self (tear) will always love you in those 2 or 3 eps lol. well i guess im doing great.

love katie

2010 mkay

well havent been on a while... been busy bout a packet for skool now im doing the test kool huh. been up to park city got a pick of a star! just one tho they all were hidding from us. got alot of free stuff yup i said free. ex mugs, hats, waterbottles, that wine glass thing and meny more. its so pretty up there if i get picks on my cam on here ill put some up mkay tho no one ever looks at my blog but i dont mind. havent hung out with kenz since new years.... she barlee talks to me. stacy and falisha go to valley with me weird. F is pregnet poor girl i feel so bad for her. guess what i have front row seats to the utah twilight convention 18 and 19 saaaweet. skools been ok i guess kinda nerve wreaking. i stoped clayness im now painting i paited sorta a cherry tree with mountain background looks sort ok but teach wants me to add more hes the one who said to add the freaking mountians now my pick is too plan ummm are your sure teacher i swear to god theres alot going on there you stupid fuck. god i hate how ppl keep telling me how stupid i am and how bad im doing do they not know i know how bad i am. i know whats wrong with me i know how i say things i know i cant keep a straight mind its really not my fault that i dont want to think that i worked so hard to have a blank mind that now thinking is getting harder and harder its like im old and losing my memories i cant help it im dumb....

well me excited for those seats there right there with the stars i could reach out and touch them ooo how naughty lol anyway i leaving tttyl


love katie :)