sadness

iv ruined everything he hates me. well hates the way im acting i cant help it now he wants me to not talk to him anymore :'( more crying im so pathetic.... what do i do i only wanted him no one else.... should i just give up again??? he was so wonderful i over did it i regret what i did regret trying to hard if i could do it over i wouldnt have did those things are asked for more. I was the worst gf ever and it made me lose the best guy ever....
i cant believe im whining about this im sorry

break up

he broke up with me ahahahah :'( i cant stop crying. i know it wasn't that long of a relationship but... i was so happy..... i didn't even want to wake up this morning i kept praying for me to never wake up.. but i did and i cant seem to stop crying. it hurts it really hurts i thought that i could be with him. i wanted a future with him. id of done anything for that. And i was so stupid to think that anyone could ever love me. Blog guys suck he was my first kiss. That day he made me feel so pretty and wanted. i just wanted to see him again was that so wrong. was it so wrong to want to talk to him. maybe i was to clingy. but the truth was it felt like he was pulling away the night i went to see him. after that it broke, it hurt that he didn't want to talk to me abt his problems. i was his gf y couldn't i help him. I shouldn't have even asked if i could i kept making him mad. Im new at having A REAL LIFE BF. im so used to having phone/online bfs that i didnt know what to do how to act. overwhelming that i just held to tightly. And now i cant stop crying. iv lost the best thing that ever happend to me i was so happy. i dont know what to do anymore, sure i had problems but doesnt everyone. yea mine are bad real bad but is that a reason to stop loving me.. maybe he never loved me maybe i was used........ but i dont want to think of him that way i loved him. I love his eyes i use to hate brown eyes but when i was his they were so pretty and his personality was so diffrent that i loved it. I didnt care if he had a job or a place to live damnation. He was mine.... hes not mine. i cant breath now it feels like im not getting any air and i cant stop the tears. will it stop hurting all i ever thought abt was him.... i trusted him

on nov 4

On November 4th i went and saw zack, he is my boyfriend. :) hes sweet to me and were dating. i got my first kiss that night it was perfect. we were watching new moon and then it just happend and other things lol. He even told me he loved me like a million times but i had told him i loved him too. lol its going great were actuly dating. This time its real. Isnt that wonderful for me?? yup it is and im so happy. I even got to try new things but i think what i need most is a bath lol XD