2/1/2014

I went and hung out with kyle. :) it was nice to get away from everything from everyone. I really have missed him, although i have forgotten just how tall he is. :) we hung out with his friend mike and we walked over to a diner it was really amazing :). And i also watched an ep of the X-files :). tis was an awesome night/day lol.

Im done

Im giving up on you... Im done.. i love these songs

good news

One of my oldest friends told me he likes me. To tell you the truth i have always liked him. he hurt me once but its ok to like him right? he is so sweet and kind. Well in the next couple months hopefully ill get my car and license so i can take some time and get used to the idea :). im wishing my self good luck that may be bad luck but iv had a whole lot of bad luck that i deserve some good right? lol

grrrr

This is what he wrote to me today I love her with all my heart and a lot more than I did you. I care about u but I can never go back to u I was not truly happy. I hope u can get over me but I won't go back to u. I can't go back to u anymore. You should get some help with your feelings and get out of the house and meet people. I'm going to block u now please don't contact me or my family anymore. You are making me feel guilty and angry and I don't need to feel that way. im done now.. he can go fuck it for all i care..

bleh

Iv been crying for the last 6 days. My heart hurts my eyes hurt :/. I miss him so much all the time but there is nothing i can do. He is happy with her and not me. I have to move on but it hurts a whole lot. I wish i knew what to do. I read some some off google. Guys suck you know that right. It hasnt even been that long and he moved on i hate him and miss him. What do i do?

exs are just a waste of space youd think they would turn to dust when ur done with them but i guess not

I did what i did not want to do and it hurt like hell. I messaged camaron oliver and told him i missed him and he informed me that hes already with someone new. My chest feels like its tight and it hurts. Does that count as heartbroken? or just pain? I cried to i didnt think i would but it upset me so bad. Maybe i did really love the fool. Im sad and lonely. But maybe now i can consentrate on me? i dont know tho grr. I messaged him and told him all i had to tell him then blocked him. I do not ever want to see nor speak to that fool again. I really do hate him now. I really really do. I find myself pretty stupid. I want to get over him and start over. Wish me good luck tho i dont know how ill ever get through this (said no one ever) :P lol sadly madly Love Katie

:(

I havent been doing so well. I really miss my ex is it possible to love someone with everything except your heart? o.o thats just weird huh. My work has been driving me mad. So far in the last 3 weeks iv only worked about 4 days in all my pay check is so small i can hardly pay for my bills. Im gonna confront my tiny boss and demand answer. -_- I want to lose weight but my laziness is getting in the way how to over come it?? On a good note i got my laptop working. Thanks to my dad :) i have missed using it its just not the same without it lol. Iv got to start studying more for my up and coming test yaa Maybe missing someone is a way of getting over them. I need something big to take my mind off these things. What to do What to do.

Happy New Year 2014

Happy New Year everyone hope this year will be amazing. My new years resolutions 1. lose weight 2. earn more money 3. get a car 4. get a drivers license 5. fall in love again 6. be the best auntie ever 7. HAVE FUN!!!!!

12/17/1991 13

Today is my 22nd birthday. Not much went on was home almost all day just watched tv and hung out with family. Watched a k-drama. And felt sad, an old friend never wished me a happy birthday. An old friend that i spent almost every birthday with for over 10 years never even messaged me today. I learned that no one stays around forever. She made her choice and i have made mine. I never forget and i never forgive. Kenzie you were my best friend, we have been through so much together. You were like a little big sister to me. And now your a stranger, nothing but stranger. I gave you 24 hours but i give up now. I wont be there when you need me cuz you turned ur back on me. And in doing so mine is turned to you. This year has been wonderful, hard, fun, lovefull, sad, wishful. And i cant wait for a new one to start. New friends new loves new me. My past is in the past my future is tomorrow im reaching out and willing to have fun :). love and happy birthday to me katie

then and now

I broke up with cam on Oct 19th gave back his phone he let me borrow which was an iphon 4s. I really miss that iphone lol. I also miss him but no in a boyfriend way in a way that a friend would miss a friend who just stopped seeing them. Halloween was ok we made 137 and was able to buy 2 props which sucked. I also spent my whole pay check on halloween stuff which was not good i didnt calculate it very well lol im down to less then 200 bleh. Back to work iv been off for 10 days only asked for 9 but they gave me an extra day lol. I think they missed me cuz they schedualed me 5 days instead of the normal 3-4 that i asked for. What im really nervous about is black Friday. I have no clue how horrible it will be :(

7-2-13--7-3-13

at midnight on july 2 i went to go see a movie with camaron despicable me 2. :) i had fun sitting with him im so glad i have him. <3 camaron :) we also took pictures together sooo cute i know right. im so glad i have him. love katie

my dream

I had a dream that it was the first day of high school all over again. And i couldnt find any pants o i had to wear a long skirt which had pockets on the right with a belt. And so im running around and aubry was trying to get me to go out side so we wont be late i told her to go on and id meet her at bus stop. so when i get there the bus arives and we get on and the seats are sideway and some are ones up againts the wall so i sit on an empty seat thats up against awall and a guy and a girl sit next to me and basicaly lean over the front of me and start whatever. And other ppl on the bus are like hey that girl is most likely freaking out let her breath lol. oh and the bus driver was one iv had before so he said sorry to me. And then when we get to the school how to get off the bus was a half door and you sat down and slid out onto the ground X). the school was huge and all the classes are in weird places and there made of wood and glass windows. in class we all ask to go to the restroom and so he hands out this restroom time clock. i asked if its ok if i went too. and he said something about him having one too the papers. so were all walking around with a map of the school but it doesnt have names on anything so were just randomly looking through places and i go up to a tall dark skinned guy and im like hey wheres the bathrooms and he leds me on my way but is trying to feel me up the whole time and when i get to the bathroom i had to wait a sec to get in. But that when i go in i noticed that the door is glass you cant see in but you can see out. and then i hear on the other side that two ppl are getting it on lol. so i sit on the toilet which is facing the wall oppisite the door so right next to the door and its a mirror and you can see all the kids walking by so i pull my skirt up far enought that you dont see anything and was just about to take a picture of myself and them. when i woke up X). moral of this story i really had to pee in real life. second maybe i should go back to school. and third need to control cam.

6/25/13

In the morning i went to kenzies house to hang out with her her. I was supposed to spend the day with camaron but i had gotten nervous and didnt want to go alone. So i had kenzie come with me. He picked kenzie and i up from her house and took us to my fav coffee shop where he bought us all coffee. AWW so sweet of him huh. Then he took us to cafe rio and bought us food. My boyfriend is so sweet isnt he :). Then we had to go buy shots for kenzies puppies. But first we had to go to her house to pick up the card then to cattle ranch then back to her house then to a gas station then to brents house to pick him up for her. then we all drove around and went to the coffee place again and watched the sunset :). then we ended up at cams apt bur didnt go inside. we kissed in his car then layed down on the grass. He invited me to go to mexico in december o.o. wow umm fast? lol. then he drove us home and i slept over at kenzies. o.o i dreamnt about zombies lol that was my date. but he gave me a gift and ill treasure it for as long as im with him. Idk i could be with him forever or a while. i really dont know the future or what could happen. who knows i could marry him one day. but i dont know that.

6/15/13

I had saturday off and i was supposed to go to laggon with my sister and my niece. So i wake up at 8 am and take a bath shave and get ready for the day. As i go up stairs i notice that my sisters car is gone. Wondering where she went i called her a million times just to find out she went 2 hours away to look at a truck. Which by the way they didnt buy. So then i left with kenzie and we returned my bra to the store. went to the mall to find her a new bra and they didnt have it so we went to another mall and they did have it. So then we went threw a couple stores like spencers and hottopic. then after that we go to my work and buy this purse that iv been wanting but i got munthers advice then ignored his advice lol and bought it anyway. We then went to fye and bought movies and cds. Right after a guy calls kenzs and asks if she would like to hang. She says yes so i call Camaron and ask him to meet us at panda by my house. The best part is the two guys showed up at the same time XD. Then i sugest we go to a park so kenz says follow me. And she drives all the way to this small town thats past her house like out past the dump. and she takes us to this amazing park thats really pretty. Where Camaron asks me to be his gf and i said yes. So then after all our chatting which cam kept tickling me and poking me we all left and went to the drive in. It was funny bc i rode with Cam and we get there and wait for kenzie before we go in and so we diside just to go in and we get up there and we both dont have cash only cards so we had to go to a gas station to get cash. lol.. we went to see the purge but we really didnt watch it XD. After the movie and a little bit into the next one we all leave and i go to cams apartment. for a bit he has 2 new cats there really sweet. WEll thats how he asked me to be his gf. lol that was the point of this blog post XD love love love katie

a date, a sisters wrath, just wanted some fun

I started talking to this guy named camaron, and then i met him on Monday June 10 at west Jordan park with kenzie. It was a pretty night and i was nervous. We learned that he was a unicorn. You shall not know what it is because i shall not say. Then i had a date with him at his apartment. We watched two anime movies talked ate pizza which iv never had that kind before. With onions on the inside lol. among other things. Point one he loves to keep his place freezing cold lol. Point two i want to trade him beds. He didnt have a couch which is fine i don't care. His bed was soooo soft i could sit in it all day lol. Hes a really sweet guy. And i hope to see him more often. My sister ended up freaking out because she didnt know where i was. I told them i was going to kenzies. I wonder how she found out i wasn't with kenzie because she ended up calling and freaking out on me. I wouldn't answer her calls so in the end i ended up telling her i was out on a date. She freaked out and basically said i didn't trust her. Well hello i don't she would of made fun of me and make me tell her every little detail i don't want to tell her every little detail. Im not like my brother and sister, i didnt just go out and hang out with people or go on dates. I stayed home every day of my life. I stayed in my little box and didnt come out. At some point id start to feel that my life had no color. That every day was bleak. So why cant i get a life like everyone else? Why is that so bad that i want to go out and have fun?? idk huh. My family act like its a sin for me to do anything with anyone. All i want to do is get out meet ppl have fun. And they were holding me back with responsibility's that i didnt want. I want to feel like other ppl. With not allot of love Katie

just working

well since i got this job iv been working a whole lot. Not in the sense of someone else but in my way lol. Im use to being home alone. now i have somewhere to be and something to do. its annoying but it gets me money. I also bought a season pass for lagoon and here soon one for a water park. gotta keep busy. also theres this guy i might meet idk if it will go anywhere but a chance is a chance right. love katie

My dream and what i think it means

Last night i dremnt that i went to a very special arctic circle with my best friend. The reason it was special bc in the dream i would go there often as a child with my family. This particular artic circle is special it isnt on the ground and isnt safe. It is being held up by a net of chains. Cars can still drive down to it because its right in the middle and its bowing like a trampoline if you have everyone in the middle it goes down. So me and kenzie go there and sit at these side boths that are really big. i couldnt decide what i wanted and chose randomly while she got a peanut butter shake. What i really wanted was this huge banana split in my dream it had like 6 different ice creams and it was in a contest to whoever finished it in time would get there picture on the wall. Im not sure if there were any winners yet. I hinted that i wanted to do it, but kenzie was like NO. So as we were leaving i went threw the kitchen and the way they did it was there are tiled numbers huge and they would place the order on them so they would know who to give it too. And the cook or whatever was really cute. Then we went out side and was walking on the net chain really carefully because if it broke we all would die. i remember either walking up the chain or driving up it. than my dream changed i was in shopko once again i dont remember why but every night iv dreamed that im in shopko lol. Ok the meaning to thins in my dreams in the waking world. Arctic circle is the place i really wanted to go bc i really want ice cream lately its on chains because its my will to only have sweets now and then and not every day like everyone else but i personalty know it will break if im not careful. The booths are from my favorite Mexican restaurant that i go with jess and omar. The ice cream i really wanted badly was the one from dennys just bigger. My appetite has gotten bigger for it. The cute guy and the ice cream are from this guy im talking too he works at arctic circle and i told him i loved there ice creams. The peanut butter shake i had with aubry when we were younger with mat and kayla. and shopko i feel that my life consist of shopko. yup those are the reasons i had this dream tonight. LOL

working

Working is so hard, im not used to it. And they are working me over time from the hours that i said i could work. A girl who was hired with me was fired for not showing up. Now there taking it out on me and being mean. im not used to being on my feet for so many hours i can barely make 4 and next week they want me to do 8 hour shift o.o. Its not fair. I really hate working there now.

festival of colors 2013 SLC

went to the festival of colors SLC 2013 it was allot of fun cant wait for next year

I got a job

i GOT A JOB! And its really hard :( lol. We put returns back out onto the floor. we gather up cloths and find there spot and correct how they look. than straighten everything and people mess things up it really sucks. its hard because i have no idea what im doing.