then, now

My ex who i love dearly is gone. He was my longest relationship. The best one iv had so far. With him i was less shy. I got to try new things, do new things. I'm thankful for that for him. He was in my life for only a while. Id never been so happy. I felt less alone and it was a wonderful feeling while it lasted. I hope that i can find someone like him. Maybe a little diff you know XD. But i do love who he is everything about him was wonderful. Even the stuff i hated, sure i didn't want him to change i just wanted him to be closer to me. And in doing that i think that might be the main reason i lost him. But im told to think of it this way "He Lost You" meaning me. I know its nothing special but hey at least i tr-yd. I do get hot tempered but that's because it runs in the family. We hurt, we cry, we bitch, and moan about everything. Its who we are. On a brighter note i know what i want right now. I want a job, i want money, a car. And soon hopefully ill find someone who wants me to. :) life isn't easy for me im shy, and i hardly get out of the house since i was a little girl. Im afraid of people walk away, so many have done that. And so i guess im hard on my bf's past and mostly likely future ones. Were all looking for that one special person and when they walk away its hard. I know he left but i wasn't his most special girl. Im someone else s most special girl. :) im not giving up on finding him my new most special man. I wonder tall or short XD i do love Irish men lets see what happens.


Love,

Katie

i hate girls

dylans ex might be pregnant with his child i say might cuz im praying she slept with another guy even tho she said she didnt there getting a dna test done...

Broken

yesterday he tells me he needs space. that he cant be with me anymore. its not you its me really haha. that he only needs it for a little while. i feel like bella who lost edward. i even had a nightmare and i cant sleep and all i do is cry. oh god everything is ruined. He says he will come back to me but to leave me in the first place what will stop him from doing it again i dont trust him anymore. and that breaks my heart all over again. what if there is someone else or its cuz im not skinny or that im far away or that i try to talk to him everyday. he said he didnt mind that that he liked it. Im not ok this time the other times yea i wasnt ok but this time my family knew him.... i thought we were each others ones. He told me he wanted me to be his last. i wanted him to be mine tooo. he tells me i dont have to wait for him. what does that mean that hes really not coming back to me. that it was a lie god i cant handle this. iv done the only thing i could do iv packed my bags im leaving he wants space how 3 hours away of space of driving tho hahaha im going to my grandmas house in couple hours i still need to check if i have everything..... well i cant be here he has laid on my bed walked around my room sat on my couch petted all my dogs i see this and i cry cry cry. i want him back but will he really come back everything is ruined and my life is over yes im being a dramatic fool but i cant help it he ment more too me than anyone did now i have nothing

parents suck

my parents are just rude. they keep trying to kick me out, which i have nowhere to go. i swear i hate them. I am not going to there easter thing im staying home. Dylan said if it was up to him he would let me stay with his family. which is not up to him. Sad part is if i move out i dont have insurance and so i cant go to doctors or pay for my pills which one of um without insurance is like 80 dollars so um.... wtf idk what to do this just sucks i really need to find a job so i can not be home with them i hate being around them always yelling at me and expecting me to do stuff for them like clean the whole house wash there cloths sometimes cook for them do i look like there maid hell no they depend on me to much im saving up im moving out i just wont go to doctors anymore ill be fine for a while

love

Dylan is the best part of my day. I hope he is mine always. i love him so much and the other day when kenz ditched me he had said he would see me no matter what. and when he couldnt that day i burst into tears and couldnt stop crying all day long. Iv never done that usualy when i get canceled im ok but when its him ahh i love him. is it bad to say i want to merry him.... that is the scariest thing i ever want.

sure

everything so far is good. iv been together with dylan for a month now since the 14th so its good. sad part is my cat has gone missing so the next day him and i are gonna put posters up with a reward for her return. i think that it sucks but its ok oooooo in pain stumpic omg

sure

everything so far is good. iv been together with dylan for a month now since the 14th so its good. sad part is my cat has gone missing so the next day him and i are gonna put posters up with a reward for her return. i think that it sucks but its ok oooooo in pain stumpic omg