lonely

iv been lonely for a while now. i wish there was someone i could talk to who isnt diffrent from me... everyone changes so diffrently and sometimes its getting to hard to watch. i miss having someone always there to say hello to, or to talk for hours and hours about anything. i have no one now and i dont know what to do. is it really ok to be this alone all the time. will i always be alone??? being around my family is okay sometimes but they all just make me soo mad. and when i make a friend they usualy leave or i leave so it doesnt las long couple years or so. i wish there was someone who could be with me forever someone who gets me for who i am and can understand what i want. i know thats selfish to say itd be a very selfish thing to make some one to do. so im not expeting it, just wish it to happen. i cant really see my self with someone forever tho if you know what i mean. i cant see myself surrounded by people. not even my family i see my self alone till i die. i dont want that but it might just be true. if it is possible to live forever no matter the consiquese then id give anything that i have for it. my wish is that if it were granted then id do anything for that person for eternity. if you read this and just got WTF then yes im a loser who thinks to much. but doesnt the possibility of you being gone terrify you i dont want to disapear i dont want to rot in the ground. i will work everyday ill do be act slave over what if it was possible to live none stop even if it hurt everyday even if i was te ugliest person deff blind w/e chances are that is not reall but if it is plz plz help me



love katie
( *tear* )

my christmas

today is christmas i couldnt sleep at all last night but stayd up watching naruto was great. this moring was in a very bad mood got 100 from my parents so i have 125 for my las veges tickets just need more lol. laura gots lots and lots of presents it was weird. mom cooked breakfest and it was ok. i couldnt help my attitude today but i did sleep and it made me feel better. we went and saw avatar which i say is the greatest movie ever best 3 hours of my life!!!!!!!! kenz and i might break up ( friendship) hello she is my best friend but lately things havent been good between us. i miss the old ways how it was so easy but now its just getting harder.. iv got friends but there is no one who could ever replace her i may say things about her and be a total bitch but when it comes down to it i love her like a sister and i dont know what to do.

merry christmas to anyone who passes by lol

ITS MY B-DAY

yup yup i turned 18 42 mins ago lol saweet i told david im sorry and he accepted were kinda friends again. kiki left she isnt here anymore im all alone. well ok not really i now made a friend and now we all are like yay. kenz hasnt talked to me in like 3 weeks w/e anyway my birthday wish is to become a vampire lol. hahaha

DEAR SOMEONE

i also didnt write this i copied this from >>> I definately did not write this... but its really good... i copied it from rainbowemo who copied it from someone else... just read it... its awesome


dear someone,
i know you probably don't care.
i know you're probably busy watching tv or dealing with your own problems, or maybe you're busy laughing and chasing butterflies. maybe you spend afternoons in the grass, smelling the sun and tasting life.
maybe you don't have time to worry about me.
but i'm going to pretend you care. i just want someone to hear me, honestly.
i don't expect you to understand or care or even listen.
i'm just hoping that you will.
dear someone,
i guess i should start by telling you that i wish i didn't have to live anymore. free time is spent wondering if there's any way i could possibly suffocate myself.
i guess i should tell you that i'm sorry about this, but the problem is i'm not.
there's a constant throbbing behind my eyes. i dream of cliff jumping (i've heard it feels like flying). i sleep with ice in my nervous heart, and reality slowly fades into nightmares.
i think of life as a waterfall. hope and happiness and love fall into the hands of the people waiting below.
but fear is the only thing that falls into mine.
dear someone,
i feel alone.
everyone is caught up with someone else, and i'm left standing on the sidelines, wondering what i did wrong. people tell me to open my eyes, but when i do, everything's empty. people tell me to listen and learn, but the only thing i've learned is that denial is prettier than reality.
everyone's beautiful until you look under the mask.
dear someone,
late at night, I’m always cold. shivering. there’s never enough inside of me to keep me warm, and it’s always too quiet, too lonely.
there are only tears to hold me, comfort me, love me.
but they're never enough.
so sometimes, i'll pretend that strangers like you love me.
dear someone,
i paint shadows on my heart just to fill the empty spaces. the sad thing is, i'm still left hollow inside.
and i've decided that everyone has it wrong. see, they go around pretending things will get better and they'll make it through this and everything will befine.
except there's no guarantee that it will.
because life is not a nightmare.
the nightmare is life.
dear someone,
i just want someone to love me.
why won't anyone love me?
dear someone,
i bleed words (they're the only things i feel these days).
life is a chess game, but i've lost my queen. life is an ocean, but i can't swim. life is a battle, but i'm too tired to fight.
there isn't anything worth fighting for, anyway.
dear someone,
your silence is beautiful.
i bet you're the kind of person that knows what to say when someone's crying. i bet you draw rainbows on the hands of people just to make them smile.
i bet you're the kind of person who could shatter time and make the stars crash anddestroythings.
but i bet you're the kind of person that doesn't.
i bet you would hug me and carry me along and listen.
i wonder if you'd love me.
dear someone,
sometimes, we'll watch movies as a family. sometimes, i'll close my eyes and watch with only my ears and somehow, it's more beautiful then.
i feel protected. warm. there are no demons lurking in my mind; there's no fear to give into.
and sometimes, i'll fall asleep on his arm. sometimes, i feel like i actually belong to something.
dear someone,
dragonflies kiss my eyelids like flowers.
the sun is shining, finally, and i feel like if i went to sleep now, there wouldn't be a nightmare waiting; only a pleasant dream of secrets and held hands and understanding.
except there's another headache coming, and in another hour i'll feel alone and i'll be crying again.
the walls will have to keep me company.
after all, they love me more than any person ever will.

dear someone,
the world is hammering nails into my heart.
and sometimes, the world gives me the hammer and says,here, help yourself. it's such fun.
i'm ashamed that i never turn away.
dear someone,
my body is shaking and my heart is curled up into a ball in my chest, sleeping.
i cover my ears and try to shut everything out,
but the muffled sounds still sink in, still terrify me.
dear someone,
darkness is calling. i won't bother you anymore.
goodbye.

love always,
no one.

:)

im soo happy kiki is my friend, i prayd to god to send me someone who is like me but diffrent and i wont ever feel weird around and you know what happend. Kiki chose my skool to go to yay. lol shes awesome :).
it turns out iv made the most ceramic stuff in my class its funny. we learned to make the glaze that you glaze the ceramics with and so far iv done 3 of my ceramics in the glaze hehehe.
i need a job like badly too bad you cant get paid to write in your blog, i bet anyone would do that lol.
i need a cell phone too mine got turned off. and the next day at school i was standing out side stairing at the night sky and the moon looked so lonely. and thats how i felt and i started to cry how lamn is that im a loser. but the bad thing is i couldnt stop crying it wasnt the loud tears, but the desolate tears. you can see them but you dont hear a thing.
my family is like pissing me off really badly.
i have been watching anime its getting better and better

well love katie lol

duh bored

the stars are falling
all around me
ur words are colliding
with the worlds around me

anything and nothing

well new moon was great. iv so far seen it 4 times on the big screen hehehehe. i really enjoy it. today it snowed it was so wonderful i was stading outside staring up and watching the snow fall it was weird it was falling in layers i think it was really pretty. kinda been mean to my family, i guess im doing the pull tighter push away further. i do it to everyone i can hold on to someone for so long b4 i push um away and if they stay ill hold on and do the same thing again. i hate school i want to bee done with it no matter what. i hate going there and being with those people, i want to stay alone in my house. i want to be able to wake up and be like awww sweet lonelyness. i dont want to get a job i dont want to support my self i dont want to grow older i want to stay young i want a life that isnt the same as everyone. they all work work have babys work date school. were stuck this world is stuck on repeat. there might not even be a after life and were all stuck. id give anything to be unstuck to not die ever to live to travel to see everything to know everything. i know no one reads these things im saying but if there was someone who did what would you say to this to my only wish did you laugh, did you stop reading and say wtf is up with this chick?? im not insane im not immiture like ppl would say. iv known what i want if i could have it id be complete id live everyday everynight id do something if i never had to die id never grow tired of life, i wouldnt ever wish for death, even if i was to be alone forever ppl dont want to think about this but i do. If there truly is a beeing who could live forever what is it that i could give you wat is it that i could do for you to be the same as you.


dont read into it i only state what is true, id never lie on here. even if no one is reading these. i dont care if no one sees me im okay

love katie

well this week sucked. iv been sick since last sunday which was not fun. sunday started off with stumic ake and the worst head ake of my life. monday i was dizzy, stumic ake, and felt like puking, tuesday i felt great which is weird. wednesday umm the night i had a soar throat and felt sick. thursday my throat hurt so bad and my back was killing me i couldnt barlee move without wanting to cry so yea. i started to feel somewhat better after that.
kenz wanted to come over i guess i was scard to have her over which is weird but i guess when im away from someone for a long time i lose how to act around them. i have to re-learn my actions and words and personality. dont ask i act diffrent with each person. my family im a bitch with opinions and will say no and will be messy lazy and sadistic. with friends i differ im either really happy go lucky or im im ganna hate everyone im ganna act mean and im ganna be sweet too. and other stuff, while at school im the proper girl i do what im told and i think to my self I WANT TO FUCKING KILL YOU ALL. yup its true i hate almost everyone there not everyone but pretty close. sometimes i want to lose it and just say FUCK IT but i cant i need to be good. i dont talk to much ppl and thats good bc after high skool y would i ever see them again there all fucked up all drugies who will either kill them selves or end up being killed or worse going to jail. im nothing like these piece of shit skums. im a good person iv never done drugs, i dont drink, i dont yell at my parents abt stupid shit, i dont get into fights, i dont steal, but i do say what i want out of the area of that skool i may be sadistic person who wants everyone to go fuck them selves even find it amusing when somehting horrible happens. i may pray for someone to die because i hate them, i may wish them so much pain that its leaking from evey pore of themselves but im not like thos ppl at my skool.

anywho i cant wait for new moon so excited. dont know what ill wear that day but w/e its all good right right.
i need a job asap i need to pay ppl back im now over 4000 thousand dollors in dept kool huh and i aint even 18 yet funny huh. well its all good one day right lol.

well gots to go read until death do us part its a great non love kissy kissy manga i know rite its so diff from my usuall heheheh

love katie

yea

umm feeling really down so im putting a pretty pick that i took in arizona on here..

hard day

my day started off horrible, my aunt picked me up and the first thing she does is hand me pictures. oh noo there not good one either. "here take a look at these" .....
my cuzin has been cutting from one end of his arms to the other there are so meny cuts that i couldnt talk. my voice has been gone all day iv ben whispering and i dont know what to do. my aunt is getting him help but its not working he went from bad to worse. ex threating to kill everyone to cutting him self wtf. so when i got inside i think ppl thought i was ganna cry which i was trying not too.... i got to my first period and made a new friend still in shock so yea. from then on it was crapy-good. evil bitch is now in 2 of my classes and i want to kill her can i can i plz!!! lol i really wouldnt but i hate her so much. shes one of the moms i feel bad for the baby.

right now im not okay....

love katie

halloween ended and my birthday is a month away

well my halloween wasnt all to great but it wasnt all to bad either... i dressed up :) i looked awesome too yaya me. i loved it when people screamed and i went trick or treating without getting candy lol it was kool. but i got really lonely and depressed everyone else had someone to hang with and talk too. i didnt my friends couldnt hang out. alex lied about comeing over and kenz couldnt. sarah is kool i hung out with her sorta with her friend natasha it was fun we went for a ride and i actuly liked it lol. ger is mine...

today is my bros b-day it wasnt all to good for him im sad for him...
the tickets went on sail grrr

love katie

its snowing :)

i love snow its like the best thing its white, cold, and it makes everything better. winter was my most fav season its fall now but winter is still up there i hate summer and spring so its all good. right now its 7:35 am i looked out the window and saw snow falling its so beautiful so of course i ran out side no shoes, no jaket, and lifted my hands to the sky. oh how i missed my snow. :) i just hope it doesnt snow on halloween plz god dont let it.


well iv been up to nada. i was ganna go down to my grandmas last 2 weekends ago. my brother and father went on a deer hunt so yea. but mom got really sick so we stayd home and did nada but thats ok. i went and saw the vampires assistant its like a great movie. i went with jess, rondo, and trever yea i forgave him. makenzie and i havent really talked at all.... but i guess its ok ill have to giver her up someday right. i always loose each friend in some kind of way its a fact actuly that i cant keep a friend. i have old friends but i mean friends who want to hang out with me. i guess im a loser but w/e i dont really need friends ill be ok on my own. we all are born alone were ganna die alone. i dont want to die at all id do anything if there really is a vampire out there id really do anything for you if i could live forever.. i would give everything up itl be painfull but i would simply do anything :)

im being the devils daughter for halloween kool huh. my niece is being two diff characters shes too cute but evil lol. wish us luck and have no snow on halloween

love katie

October

well im glade its october, my most fav month of the year :). Halloween is coming up and i already know what im dressing up as see i have this long dress-jacket sort of thing ands its got a gothic feel to it so yea and with a black undershirt with black pants im making my hair black no it will wash out lol and im doing my make up :) im ganna be dark katie so everyone can see what i truely love. went to the jordan landing car show it was cold and i loved it. was ganna go to one on sunday but there was no room for me and i felt bad bc mom hadnt rode in her own car so i said no to her driving me in the suv... skool is getting hard idk why but i feel like everythings falling apart idk if i can keep up with it and im going insane.... i keep expecting spencer to come over idk y but i realy just want to see him but thats a problem bc i dont want to see him either. i still like him but its not the same, now i know that love isnt reall and that it wont happen with me so its ok. iv been reading alot of manga and playing on facebook alot. my old ways have slipped back into place i wonder if my cycle is going to repeat lets hope not. i must stop what im doing but the words come out and my niplative self is controling more lives >:(.. dont ask what i mean its a secret one that could destroy everything lol joking but it is a secret just not a bad one. i have this habbit thats not normal to other ppl i use alot of ppl. to get what i want and i know thats horrible i just feel better afterwords. but i must stop my ways and make better habbits :) like day dreaming of the ppl next door disapearing or moving a way or something i really hate them. i may sound crazy but its not like ill actuly do anything i just really hate them and wish bad bad things for my enemys ever since elementry. im reeally evil its sad lol.

well this is all for now

LOve katie

w/e

halloween is coming up soon i simply cant wait. were doing a haunted walk threw and weve bought 4 new pieces to our yard hehehehe. i cant wait for pet society halloween omg im buying everything no matter what :). skool is ok i guess im talking to more people then i did last year but im still lonely. twilight is coming to utah next year so i need a job to buy it yay. iv already got 3 tickets to new moon movie awesome huh.

dd

have to write alot of essays today but dont know what to do it on. bought a new shirt its driving me crazy. miss kenzie had a nightmare abt it too. anime great been reading this diff kind not like usual so its new. cant wait for new moon. jess is still being evil bitch but thats ok skool sucks wish me luck today Mkay

love

katie

shoo

ok it was a weird day yesterday but it was a good day. in my sat math class this guy asked me why im so quite of course i reply no one speaks to me. he says just come talk to him ok listen he looks bad ass :). then in art class i actuly talked to the guy iv always thought a hippi lol funny huh. it was great i actuly talk to more people then i usually do. its great omg i have friends :). ok dont tell no one that im suck a loser when it comes to this uggg. anyway iv got so much homework and its not going so great :(

took a Quiz this wat i got

Motto:
“Conformity is the death of individualism.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Personality:
An individual, a maverick, you march to the beat of no one's drum. People find you courageous, strong, and authoritative and you are not easily influenced by the opinions of others. Your impulsive nature makes you unpredictable and a daring force. Your powerful personality causes you to stand out in a crowd. Heck, the tiger is so important and cool in Chinese culture that their made you one of its 12 zodiac animals.

You, as an awesome factoid:
The tiger represents the constellation Orion in Chinese legend. HELLO? ORION? Appropriate much?!

You, but Famous:
Katherine Hepburn, but not dead (and if you don't know who this is, think Cate Blanchett's character in The Aviator); Angelina Jolie; Veronica Mars; Thelma or Louise; pretty much any character Cristina Ricci or Maggie Gyllenhaal plays; Mila Kunis in anything but That 70s Show.

You, but Grown Up:
Actor, writer, pilot, artist

You, but a color:
Hot shocking pink!

You, but a song:
"I Did it My Way" by Frank Sinatra, "I Don't Want to Be" by Gavin DeGraw, "Miss Independent" by Kelly Clarkson

You, but a department store:
H&M

You, as a number:
1 – your individuality shines brightest as a singleton

You, but a movie quote:
"We all come into this world with our little egos equipped with individual horns. If we don't blow them, who else will?" – All About Eve

You, but a city:
New York City

You, but a board game:
Uno

You, but a sport:
Running. It's just you and the road.

You, but a book quote:
"Independence is the only gauge of human virtue and value. What a man is and makes of himself; not what he has or hasn't done for others. There is no substitute for personal dignity." – The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand

You, but a class subject:
Art

You, but on a desert island:
Happily content

You, as a partner in crime:
Your individuality puts you in a somewhat precarious situation. Even though you're obviously OK with flying solo, even the most independent of independents need some bonding once in awhile. So when picking your partners in crime, you're quite selective… a quality of quantity kind of cat. And when you're in a relationship, you are devoted as a tiger to her cubs.

Because real tigers are predatory in nature, you might not mesh so well with the more timid of creatures. Deer are easy prey for you and you most likely won't like their passive nature. They most likely won't like the fact that you could eat them alive. Your time with other tigresses may be minimal given your Born Free, individual nature, but when you're together, you can certain expect an adventure. No jungle can have two kings and as such, you're probably not going to be chatting up any horses anytime soon. Two such strong personalities are likely to butt heads. The ravens' intellect intrigues you and you enjoy the stimulating company, although you don't necessarily like to be hemmed in by the boundaries of traditional logic. You do have fun cavorting with the free-spirited dolphins, from time to time, as it is always good to for a tigress to change her stripes....

skool

well i stared skool in the 26 of august :( it was ok but i have this twitch in my right eye everytime im there :(. i havent made any friends and ppl avoid me like the pleg i guess im just nasty right?? anyway i hope itl get better but im really nervouse ihave four history classes and two math classes and art class thats two hours long baby aid lit and film class and two others i think lol.
in one of my history class theres a half jap boi and a half indie boi there both really cute omg.
yes but i dont think ill talk to them unless they speak to me first lets hope.
skip beat gave me a bad scare today. sho kissed her on val day how awful is that infront of the guy who loves her and im pretty sure she loves him she just doesnt know it yet i love a good manga well this isnt good manga its the best manga iv read ever!! which says alot right?? the best show ever is hana yori dango korean yes i know its not in english but its the best yup yup i dont lie abt this.
iv barlee talked to kenze at all its sad she says shes just really busy yea probly right with her reall friends. sarah and i met at skool thur but i was soo nerv recked that i ran for cover like a scared lil kitten how grosse right.
idk if i should do collage but im thinking of moviing far away maybe arizona if i can survive and maybe machile could let me live with her and i could find a job and pay the rent that would be wonderfull then we could hang out shes 24 ill be 18 well be good friends.


well theres lots to say but i dont fell to well right now so im going

love you

katie

twi-con

it was the funniest thing iv gone to lately. And i met two really nice people there. and it was sad that the main stars couldnt make it but those two guys from the wolf pack were well worth it. they are hotties yes mostly chaske i really love his laugh. it was really hot there. that was hard but i miss it but i had such a bad mood. i bet if i was there longer id get over the heat i was kinda geting used to it i know i want to go back asap. but that wont be till i graduate high skool which i hope i will be doing this year. the vampire ball was great i didnt dance but i sang along to some songs and had fun watching and listeing and laughing. at the ball i was the last girl to get my pick taken with the guy who plays mike. hes really cute, but i think it sucked for him for having to take a pik with me cuz im soo not skinny and cute. but it was funny how we thanked each other at the same time. my centerpeice did not win and tha pisses me off but what can i do. the directer of the twilight was there on fri i think shes great. and the twi trivia was fun i think if i go to another twi-con ill have to come up with a really hard question and a better centerpiece. and be more out going. i cant wait for new moon so excited.
next time im bringing a hard cover yes i am.

im nervouse abt skool. and finding a job i wish i could do something easy but thats hard to come by grr. and the movies are full of emplyies. and itd be hard i go to skool from 12:30-5:30 o.0 thats like all day but thats ok and i signed up for a fri extra cred thing it dells with helping others so yea i just hope its at the skool bc if its not i dont know how ill ever get there grr.

maybe ill ask kayla if shes hireing thatd be great easy job just a wee bit away

another day, another prob

well my teacher from 9th grade died on the 4th of august of cancer. she was great and im sad shes gone. she was one of the bestest teachers i had, the class was really hard but she was awesome. i hope there is after life so if i ever die i could meet her again.
her funeral is wendsday sad thing is ill be in las vegas that day ill do as much fun things that day for her memory. thats probly what she would of wanted. the 12 of august is miss vans memory day :)...

im doing well i guess... justin came over to visite. and i bought a bad bra and gurrdle stuff. jess is being a bitch like always. havent talked to kenz idk. alex told be about van so yea.

well ill tell you about my trip when i get back unless tomarow will bring something worth puttin in here

love katie

maky

ok im disappointed in not going to japan but i got over it. hes still getting me something great :). nervouse tho im leaving the 12 at 4-5 am to las veges and from there to arizona scary huh. the day b4 that iv got a skool thing ahh crap huh. bought a prom dress i do look good in it. jess is having probs... she had to see a doc my fault ok see i was sitting on a broke chair out front and i fell so i kicked it and the leg broke off and hit my sister in the head she had a concussion a real bad one. i felt so awful. bought some cloths, and stuff. died my hair darker brown. hung out with kenz more yup and trever stayd over allot it was annoying yes i said annoying. facebook is my new fav place and gaia is great myspace is ok but not as great as facebook. iv got a friend in japan kool huh shes awesome.

well all for now kids

love you
katie

hate it

ok treven invited me to go to japan with him in december. do you know how happy i was and excited. oh but nooo im too young to go to japan. oh no i cant be alone with a guy. not when i live in this house. ill be 18 in december, technicly ill be an adult so doesnt it seem kinda unfair to not let me go. i really want to go, and its not like im going there for the guys. or the guy himself, and im pretty sure he wouldnt want to rape me. im pretty fat, and on top of that im ugly so theres no problem there. but you know if i got to go just thinking about it makes me want to go run on my treadmill for ever and do bbc. the arizona trip doesnt do that, but the trip to japan makes me not want to eat or just sit down i want to run around till im skinny. which is great but the fact that im forbidden to go. makes it to where i dont want to do anything. i cryd soo much and is babyish of me to say that but you dont understand how much i just want to go there. how great it would be to be in a place that'l love me too. everyone here makes fun of me i have to lie sometimes just to make sure that ill have a friend or two. but in japan the one place thats known for its greatness would acept me with open arms. after i pay my sister back im ganna save money for my own place to live and a trip to japan with someone who speaks english and japanesse so ill be able to understand whats going on. wouldnt that piss my parents off yes it would oh god im soo doing it hell fucking ya

well lots to talk about but im watching an anime. a bloody one mmm yummy blood just jokeing about the ymmy part not the blood part. trever got me into and i just love watching well ok

love

katie

nada

well my cuzin justin has come over. hes really great, and he makes everything better. hes the first person who i feel at ease with. im so happy that hes part of my family even tho hes younger he still understands. we hung out for sometime today watched fireworks but not alot bc were doing more tomarow. how great is that, i bought a dress yesterday it bottons up and its black sorta gothic like i love it. and i bought another shirt its see threw but i can wear something under it its really cute. kenz hasnt txtd me back i hope shes ok. reading a great manga. i found a friend in japan. great huh i started talking to her today and yay she lives there. i cant wait to start using my camera, im ganna take cute piks. aunt lorrie called shes doing ok, but i hope shes happy i love her soo much. i learned that grama beckstead loved to sow. she could sow anything and was really great at it. i wish that i was a better grand daughter to her. and i wish i visted her more. if i knew she was ganna die so soon i would of done anything to be with her all those years instead of fearing the ear eks. i wish i could tell her im sorry, i know that it doesnt make it better but that i really did want to see her. i thought about her alot, before and after her death. its been a couple years so yea. im always afraid that something mite happen to someone i know im a worry wort. i cant wait for twilight its so great. and soon ill buy pants to wear. maybe just sweat pants since I'm so fat. i wish i could just flick my finger and be skinny but it doesnt work like that. its my fault for eating and its my fault for being lazy. i just am so tired in the morning that i cant do my excersizes and then theres larua whos always bugging me i dont know why but i get so pissed. and it really hurts her feelings and it makes me feel bad that sometimes i think im a bad aunt. i love manga iv read 5 so far in the past couple weeks maybe more bc i read fast and go threw them quick. i hope to read as meny as there are out there. i want to own them as well.

well i have to sleep so farewell

love katie

hmm lately

ok i went to the frays concert sat. and it was sooo hot that i thought i was ganna die. The day b4 that kenz slept at my house. and we got up at 9 am just to go to her house for no reason. and they made me wear a very short sleeve shirt! i hate my arms so it was hell. when her mom droped us off at the concert we were there early and it didnt star till after 7 and we got there around 5:30 grr and i think it was the hottest day of the year so far. Its a wonder i didnt get a sun burn weird huh. the first band was meese they were great, the secound was somthing like john mankin but its longer and i think the first name is diff. The frays singing started when it was really dark out and it was awesome. It was my first concert and for some reason i wasnt nervouse ususaly id be sick to my stumic weird huh. but it was fun almost. i bought the fray sun glasses.

the twilight convention is almost here im nervouse as hell. I guess i have to buy a dress but im sooo fat itl look nasty on me. and skool is almost here my plan of dieting till im skinny kinda died. its mostly my fault but when ppl say it looks like im lossing weight i lose the power to work more. I simply give up i guess im weird like that i want ppl to not notice.

jess already bought the new moon movie tickets that come with a party at the grad place and a twi goodie bag kool huh. and were ganna see it at midnight and the next day with all her friends awesome huh.

well i hate love, i dont want it, but need it.

the truth

valentines day is vain day evil day so its now vain day
and heres a great saying if i just eat one ill want to eat them all so none at all
i got them from skip beat a great manga its tought me so much and i wish to gain more knowledge from it..
im watching a tv show called vampire high it great, and im reading a manga abt a girl who falls in love with a vampire but he wants her blood so it makes her sad so shes going to go away (shes his secretary and he doesnt want love so he just drinks from her and its soposed to be such a great ectisy, but she just loves him so much and he cant get ride of his thirst with just anybodys blood he just wants hers it feds his thirst) (i hope hes falling in love with her)

but i truely know that love is a lie.. that no one will ever love me the way i need them too. i have ben forsaken to a like of hell for past crimes that i had to controle over. i am forever chained to what iv done, forwhich there is no forgivness and ill die a death thats not worth its time. my only wish i to live for ever. this is my only wish my only thing i will ask for if i was given 1 wish. i would do absolutely anything for it and i mean it. i dont care if i have to live in pain everyday or be a slave. if it means liveing forever i shall do watever means i have to. but thats just it is there a forever or even a chance for it. is there such a thing has vampire, or the fountin of youth. i fear death, i fear it so much that iv tought myself to stop thinking. i mean it i just turn off. click and everythings gone. this is the most terrible thing for me i sometimes slip and it frezzes me and its so terrible that i forget to breath and then the tears come and this horrible feeling overcome me. and my life goes into a hellish time.

if possible i want to live forever, i will do whatever means i have to for it. be it pain, loneliness, or slave i dont really care as long as i get it then there is nothing more id ask for.

if your laughing at what im saying just think can you take that possible death. be it heaven or hell or neither if we die and were gone. i mean really gone, our thoughts you your self gone. can you deal with that. i cant so if someone can grant my wish ill be whoever you want me to be do whatever you want me to anything as long as its in my power and if not i shall force it to be in my power to be able to....

i swear by my own soul

love katie

idk

iv been feeling really down lately.. i mean tears, loneliness, bored, and stuff like that. like nothings worth doing, but i still want to do them. and iv lost the drive to work out everyday... my goal is lost, and i ruined it myself. im a terrible friend and person.

im re-reading skip beat its going good.
cant wait for twilight tour.
and basicly im just lonely, well iv lost the drive to even hang out with ppl. iv lost it a long time ago. where even getting invited to stay at a friends house makes me quiver of fear. and im almost 18... and its soo pathetic i dont look like and almost 18 year old. i look like a fat fat middle skooler like yea how gay is that.. thats why i wanted to get skinny but when someone notice that iv lost wheight i lose it and i dont want to do it anymore. the more they notice the less im ganna a do it. maybe i should ask everyone to not say it, that they can see me losing wheight but to just tell me im fat everyday so ill get the urg to run on my tread mill till i cant breath good thats what ill do thanks blog..


love katie

mkay

well iv been on another roller coaster of events lol. lets see im just ganna tell everything i can, but it most likely isnt in order so yea. ok the 4th of july was ok. I had txtd caitlen to see how she is and she and tyler broke up i was soo happy. shes back with taylor yup yup. back in middle skool i was practicly in love with tyler so yea. and him being the first guy to tell me he likes me makes it great too but were just friends. so on 4th of july i went to the park where the fair is and had fun. we mostly spent it at jack and aprils tent thing. awesome!! then we watched fireworks. tyler was working so i looked on my mobile internet for a pick of fireworks so he gets to see them :). the 5th we did fireworks it was great there wasnt alot since we had these from last year but thats ok. i tryd to give my kittens away that didnt work out grr. they are stinky and pood all over my floor i wish to just leave them in a box somewhere that mean i know. but grrr i hate them now. im getting ready for our twilight conv i cant wait its awesome. kenz and i are doing weell. i cant wait to see sarah i miss her soo much shes a great friend. i survived high skool bc she and jacob were there for me. sad part is jacob hasnt called maybe he forgot me how sad....
well not alot to say my diet isnt going as planed but tomaorw im starting over im ganna get up and exersize (treadmill and bbc) until i cant breath yes thats my plan

i hope to get to size small lol :) but i want to lose from 5-20 asap mkay well wish me luck

love katie

another day another poem thats badly writen

there is a feeling
that tightens my chest
shortens my breath
and causes me to cry

there is a throb
where my heart should have been
that never goes away
it hurts all day

these tears fall
like water in a stream
unable to break them
not even the screams

i reach out
for someone
but im all alone
nobody cares
theres nobody home

nobody sees my pain
or hears me cry
i lock it all up
deing inside

my chest feels heavy
the pain just grows
and everyday
i study my life more

they look at me
with hurtfull eyes
with meanful words
that fly

i pretend to not care
i hide the pain
i look away
and go on with my day

the never ending pain full day
the never ending agony of night
mixed all together
with tears in my eyes

another day, another almost death

in my life time there seems to be alot of near death acidents, or illnessis. so if your reading this you know im alive lol. my friend kenz came over to hang out and she was bored and really tired so she was going to go home it was 12midnight. and my mother calls saying she ripped her pants so we get in the car and are going way to fast in the nayberhood. and kenz fogot that we have speed bump ditches. and she didnt slow down and we hit them hard car flew forward back end picked up and we were thrusted into the ground then she keeps going omg it hurt sooo bad i was almost crying. she is a fucking idiot. now we get on bangador high way and are driving we turn left and keep driving no red lights so we never had to slow down. we get to my moms old conoco and we have to slow down car tut tut tuts to a stop while were turning the corner on the road and the car dies. its the worst spot to be when theres cars comeing and its a blind spot. she wont let me push it off the road into the white zone. and omg i thought i was going to die for the second time today. shes the worst driver out there!!!!!

love katie

I AM A BLOND

i was reading your my girlfriend. and then everything went black thats all i could see. i freaked and screamed ahhhh. then i opend my eyes. I BLINKED!! how blond can i be. yea this is only one thing im soo blond that i was reading a book once and my brother comes in and askes me if his picture looks ok. i replayd IM FINE. my god whats wrong with me. and sometimes i forget how to swallow when i drink something its sad so i spit it out. or i mix up my words like i cant remember what it is and i go threw a list of words till i get it right and itl be the most comon thing. or ill trip over air. or say something reallly weird. i even lose my english i start talking in giberish its fucking anoying im soooo weird.

yea yea

love katie

(took me 4 trys to speell my name right) aktie << was the first try hahahahaha

just another day

well kayla came over today. with her dogs, which in my case was a bad idea. stupid dollie runs out the door and the other dogs attacked her. anyway kayla took her dogs home and then came back. we all hung out in the motor home, which is decked out. they put a dvd player in there and a flat screen tv. theres a new raido and its all cleaned better. then there going to fix it up more get it licencd then we can use it. my cell isnt working im worried that jacob will call and i wont be able to speak to him. i havent talked to sarah i hope this number i have is hers so if i txt her its her ill be glade shes a great friend yup yup. havent talked to kenz since she slept over shes such a bitch. i fucking hate her.

love you
katie

I DONT NEED IT!! I NEED IT!!

i need money

ok i really need cash grrr. more like a good paying job or something. i havent been doing much had kenz over. phone broke so its no use using it and iv been watching laura alot shes soo anoying grrr. we bought a motorhome its preetty cute. rondo and laura had gone to the hospital. both have infections its totally sad. kayla cant hire me i was too slow to get an app. grrrr life sucks. and i dont know if i can sale anything at a yard sale but i should make a list right ok

love katie

not alot has happend. i went to my friends/cuzins graduation. it lasted forever and i was really sick. before we got there mom took me to a restorant chines it was great and yummi. before that we were at rondos thing he got an award kool huh. then i was told to clean my room. so iv been cleaning it even tho im sick. me and kenz had a fight. but were friends again. larua went to hospital she has and infection and is sick. we were worried she had the flu but she doesnt thats great huh. my kittens are great. mia pissed me off tho she poed all over in my closet and i had to clean it all up. it was disgusting i want to scream. but i love her too much. my room looks alot better. but im not finished i have to much books. and not enough space. my closet is stuffed to maximum after i cleaned it sucks yes. but in my room theres lots of space. but still lots more to do. i mizz sarah and jacob, i hope he calls me soon... i might get a job with kayla thatl be great right. she is the booss of dry cleaning. spencer added me as a friend on one of my meny myspace profiles thats great huh. on gaia i got demonic ear things it was amazing out of a gift box from my fish tank saweet huh. im watching naruto again its great. im curently reading about 15 diff storys :) dont ask but im great at keeping them all straight :). i cant wait for new moon to come on. and my trip to arizona. im gana work out everyday and im ganna help make a food plane for everynight. itl be great. i want to go to wasabie its a japanes resurant with miso soup i really want to try that. but my fam wont do it so this sucks. but maybe in the future ill get too.

iv disided to never love. iv never had a bf, never been kissed. frankly i dont want to... ok i do but then i really dont. i dont want that i do but really dont. i feel like im in the 3rd grade freaking dont want a bf but i cant say tat. not after the kasy thing in 3rd grade. see i can say he was a first sort of love. he was there for me called me even hung out with me at skool even tho ppl didnt do that with me. he said he liked me.. we were alot alike him and i. but he disapeared, and theres not picture of him...it akes me sad.. well this is all for now

love katie

mr manga

perfect girl evolution is great :) watching naruto again. and case closed :) and elfen lied. :) wish me good luck ya ya. saw neww moon pre veiw it looks wickedly awesome ya :) jess mean like always but thats ok laura is evil lover her tho rondo is still rondo. i think kenz hates me but w/e right :) i think im going to get a job asap wish me luck world :)

SKOOL ENDS!

monday was the last skool day :( i didnt go off cource. but tuesday was the BBQ and i did go :). it was lots of fun. it started like this i woke up at 8:45 am got up got dressed strightend my hair, called auntie carul she didnt pick up. i went up stiars got on putter. then my older sister got home she took me to a shopko in far away land of down weird area. it was hot in there and she talked alot. i txted sarah alot. then we drove to moms work almost got hit and pulled over but didnt. then we get to moms work and jess car is not working well its very skrettchy :) funny huh. then she takes me to skool while turning on a line she tied her keychain to wheel we almost died!! then about 60 sec latter a truck trys to run us over. i get to skoool and sarah thought iw as sloow. hahaha she waited for me outside. we walk inside and we stand in front of doors for about 10-15 mins waiting and talking then we go get our year books :). which i had to give my recipet and then i got it. then we stood looking at them and some of sarahs friends were talking to us. then alex comes to me and we sign each others year books. then she walks away then jacob comes and hes with us. lol he kept hitting me with a book. and teasing me :( meanie. hes says hes going to call me and sarah over the summer so we can chill. he signed my yearbook so did sarah. then we tryd to get jacob to take us to wally world but he said no hes the only one with a car. then he huged sarah and tryd to hug me :( lol i hit him then he left :( then me sarah and alex walk up stairs and chillax for a while then we go back to everyone and hug out with sarahs lezb friends which was interesting. then we listend to a band that sucked but i like um somewhat. :) walked around. then when we disided to leave i couldnt find a ride. so i asked sarah if her dad could take me to conoco he said ok i felt normal in there car which is weird. :) cuz im normaly nervouse or w/e it was lots of fun :)

im going to miss sarah, jake, alex, amanda :) i get to see them tho thats a good thing right :)

new moon vid

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

new moon vid

well well

today i found out that david was talking to alex. so i told him to never speak to me again and i deleated him. dont ask why but i want to ruin him. the people next door called the police saying our dogs wont stop barking at night. which is funny when there locked in our rooms when we go to sleep. so im going to ruin them to. i thought about asking my aunties ex husband who is a mob boss to take um out. but then i thought why not do it my self. just kidding ahahahahahaha but we are going to annoy them and thats why you dont mess with us. were going to play bad langouge music all day till 10 pm and then im gana stay up at night some weekends with my friends and sleep out side ill make sure to be very loud. you get us in truble and well drive you nuts. dads thinking about having his biker gang come over and well have partys every night. which im ok with ehehehehe. our gang members since they work with dad. :)

well if this goes well the war shall end with us victorious.

im saleing my manga for my trip. and my magizane

omg

im so scared of that new flu. its killing so meny people, and its getting closer to home. i wish it would just go away, its like a pleg. but has anyone noticed that its taking harder time to get to the colller areas then the warm??
i was looking at the news and they showed where all the areas that are infected in the us. and later on it was showing the temps of us. i noticed that all the infected area is all hot areas is that weird or wat.
me being in utah doesnt help :( i hope this thing goes away.

ok on other news today my mother draged me off to get my food handlers perment at a high skool. guess who was there, yup yup tyler J. the boi who i had a crush on for 4 years. he even told me he liked me wow huh. well we didnt talk but we staird at each other. omg i felt sooo fat in those chairs i was ganna just leave.

other news im getting a job!!!!!!! idk where tho but im trying
why you ask its bc im ganna go to arizona with my sister ya ya its ganna be great were going for a convention.
if anyone reads this plz tell me a good job for a teen@@@
thanxs

oh and spencer is looking mighty hot!! he was asking my parents how old i am hmm i wonder why ahahahaha anyway
skool is going great jacobe is soooo cute yes he is but kinda ok alot weird
sarah is quite kind and is my friend

well thats all for now
ttyl

make ups

ok im talking to alex and makenzie. makenzie showed up at my house last night wanting me to go with her so we could talk and hang out. yup yup so were friends again :) sarah gave me her number now i can txt her :). kenz wants me to go with her and her mom to that one place to gamble?? not los vages the other one in utah right? well yea they won a sweet at a hotel so yea lol i want to go!!!

dreams. sleep. omg

today at skool i was so tired. in my first class the teacher made us watch this money thing. and my friend showed me picks of her baby boi hes soo cute. i think bree is mad at me but what can i do. the second class we watched a really boreing movie but i got to talk to alex shes kool. in the third and final class of the day we drew dragons i did realy good. mine was realistic and everyone elses was catoonic kind lol. then lorrie came and got me and took me to moms work. i was emberessed bc i didnt have the keys so i waited for mom while walking around her store. :) her emplyies are all nice :). then we went home. but i was soo tired that i went almost straight to bed then i woke up like 4 times. until it was 3 am now its 5 am. :) iv been reading my book, and manga. i dreamnt about jessie from elementry. it was really weird. and i think i still have a crush on spencer. i want to kick him in the as though so what should i do. i dont want to talk to him anymore. and i want a job i want to work at the theatr. yup. lately i havent done my b.b.c alot. so tommarow im starting in the morning and i shall do it when i get up every morning then take shower :) thats great dont you think. i want to lose wheight b4 halloween. I want to be healthy and skinny b4 im 18. yes im turning 18 this year. scary huh sooo scary. and iv never had a b4 or been kissed. and i still dont want that. i dont want to depend on any one like that so thats my life i shall be alone yup. :)

ttyl

gr stupid thinking

yesterday my family (not me) built picnic table in the back yard. so we can have more family time :(. great :( more time with the people who ignore me most... and while eating with them i utterd the most unpossible thing i could have. i wish to wash my mouth out with soup anything!. see its a name a very evil name that was to be one possible out come of this torture. but fate has it that that shinning ending was stolen with a single word. now its all lost and i utterd that name and almost fell apart its been 3 to 4 years why now??.

anyway im bored bored bored been reading and watching my anime :). its great great great loveing it realy. deleting everyone on my cell is my duty today :) maybe i should just turn it off but how would i speak to C to get me after skool... dang it i almost had a great idea to bad.

anyway another day another monday. great more skool i hate that place for real. but i guess its better then normal skool. even tho i dont know what a normal high skool is like since iv never been to one so w/e

well ttyl

um well

well today i don't feel so well...spencer spends to much time at my house its weird. skool sucks as usual. but iv made more friends which is great, i just hate being so alone. ummm laura had gotten burned a week ago it was really bad. lately iv been doing what iv done so meny times in the past years. iv tryd so hard to stop it so im thinking of deleting my accounts on a website. grrr maybe i should its not like i care i hardly talk to anyone on there. besides im sick of people. i hate makenzie i want to see her cry is that so bad? i hate her so much god its so true. i even hate alex i hate them all. whats wrong with me why do i hate my friends??? am i going crazy lol. oh yea i hate mariah to shes turned into such a bitch. i needed her help really badly and she wouldnt help me because she didnt want to stupid bitch. my parents are driving me crazy but i got 50 from them so ill save that. easter sucked its just another day right why celabrate, everyone let me sleep all day i didnt even get to see laura open her egg basket no one cared that i wanted to see that grrr

center stage soundtrack songs/artist and when they played

"Raise The Barre", Laura Karpman f/ Medussa (opening dance sequence)
"Give It All I've Got", Bekki Friesen (second main title song)
"Balloon", Sara Haze (Kate sees she hasn't been accepted to ABA)
"You Should Be Gone", Christelle Radomsky (first song at nightclub)
"Turn Around", Soul P (second song at club in the background)
"Burnin'", Ms. Triniti (first song Kate dances to at the club)
"I Ain't Goin Nowhere", Soul P (song in background immediately follow Kate's dance)
"Num Num", The DNC (plays in background at club as Tommy asks Kate for help)
"Loosen Up", Golden f/ Sophia Shorai (Kate tutors Tommy)
"Mista Ambarosia", The Spectaculars (plays in club as Suzanne and crew arrive)
"Don't Sweat", Ms. Triniti f/ Qmillion (remake of "Don't Sweat the Technique" recorded specifically for this movie; plays as Kate and Tommy throw down at the club)
"Paper Plane", Lucy Schwartz (plays at end of ice cream scene in Kate's apt)
"A Part In That Show", Chris Joss (training montage)
"Act Like You Want It", X5 f/ Mr. Fang (plays in bg at club before Kate's angry dance)
"Inside Outside", Miss Eighty 6 (Kate dances to this song at the club before Cooper arrives)
"Swing Baby Swing", The DNC (Kate and Cooper's duet at the club)
"Nobody Hot As Me", KU (song in bg after Kate and Cooper's duet)
"Rainmaker", Sara Haze (Kate runs through streets)
"Ten Things To Prove", Amali Ward (Kate's little sister dances at the club)
"24", Jem (Swan Lake performance near end of picture)
"You Belong", The Skies of America (end title credits)

IM SUPER HAPPY!

yup dats the truth im happy!!!! ok iv made more friends at school and my work out programe thing is working mom says soo ( hahaha ok ok embarrassing). um makenzie sometimes texts me but we havent hung out in like a month or two is that bad?. alex hardly talks to me her bf broke up with her which is a great thing. mariah still acts like a total bitch. tanner is doing great but hes the meanest little boi iv ever watched. my family is doing ok i guess. still getting yelled at to do the cleaning and cooking hate it. ummm going to grandmas house for easter (hopefully). itl be fun and if its great i can drive around yay. spencer is back from brazil he still cute but thats our little secret but now hes such a player. omg hes dateing like 5 girls. his parents wants him to get married asap how sad. and all his friends either are married have kids or died.... ok ericks bf died while spencer was a way it was really sad hes just so broken now... kayla stoped bye but i didnt go say hi why should i shes the one who didnt come to me right!

i just read beast master great monga

IF ANYONE HAS GAIA ADD ME
mizzzkt

0.o

bought a new book, its about vampires and love. noo its not twilight lol. this is about a girl who was born as a vampire who goes to this skool of vampires. who have new students that are human she falls in love with a human and bites and drinks blood for the first time. 0.0. lol ok right now im having trouble breathing with sucks hahahah i think its my nerves lol. im on my space playing with the pets on it. I LOVE TWILIGHT. ITS COMING OUT ON DVD ON THE 21 ILL BE AT WALLIE WORLD AT LIKE 9 TILL AFTER MIDNITE HEHEHEHEHE YAY. umm yea i was writing to the writer i hope she reads what i gots ta say :0. well i dont know what to write about hmmmm nothing to say lol
im very loling huh hehehehe.
ttyl

um idk ok

no one notices if you miss a day of school because no one cares that your there or not? that the people who talk to you really do wish you would disappear. do they understand what its like to be all alone? i spend every day alone. no one calls me no one asks if i want to hang out. my old friends have forgotten me and my new ones are fake ones who only talk to me cuz im there. is it true that no matter what it doesnt matter that i will always be alone that my one wish will never come true? have i fallen so far that iv lost my self. when im asked a simple question of whats your favorite color it changes bc someone likes that color so i have to like it too. that my old friend hated something i liked so i stopped liking that thing i like to find out that it was the only thing holding me together. so i fell apart when my friend left me. if you ask me if i wanted to hang out id probably just say no. bc first of all i wouldn't expect you to talk to me then second i would dream of you to ask me to hang out and third it would just hurt. is it so wrong to hate you, to hate me. can some one see how much it hurts everyday. how alone i am in this world. i hate me they hate me. but the stupid thing is every morning i stair at my self in the mirror and wish why cant i be pretty like them. i try and look cute just to see if anyone can notice. and when someone says " you always look so cute " you see right threw it you know there lieing. so you try harder to find that theres no way you can ever be cute. hahahaha i should just give up but im not. NO ONE EVEN NOTICES IF IM THERE OR NOT!! bad thing is ill just keep trying

i figured who i am

i am the one who walks in the hallways with my head held down,
i always walk out the door with a sad frown,
i wait and see if anyone notices me,
but im almost always invisible
to everyone around me,

even if you talk to me
your secretly wishing why me,

i sit away from everyone
which isn't true you sit away from me
as if im the pleg
or is this is a avoid her game,

i dont wear makeup or perfume,
im not even pretty,
not always gitty
i dont know how to be like you,
iv given up on trying too,

i go home alone,
and do nothing but sit,
how can you blame me for being like this,
i try not to cry,
but its sometimes slips,
is there away to get out of this?

can you possibly save me from this hell
possibly get me out of my shell
i lay awake hopeing for this
can you make fun of me for doing this

but now i see
its not me
its you
and i shall change
these things that i do
ill prove you wrong
ill prove im right
im better off alone
tonight




sorry i was bored and well im not realy good at writing poetry ( and my published one wasnt that great :( )

R~A~W~R

well ok im bored yup thats the truth. so iv been thinking alot about writing a book. but the problem is how do i do it. lol yes i know you think im stupid. but hey you pick up a pencil and try writing a story. its not that easy, and its time consuming. but iv been thinking about this one story that i wanted to write. but it seems so similar to others in a way. but yet i want it to be something different. something no one has read before. hm i shall take alot of time and think this threw. iv probely read over 1000 books in my life time. so i shall read more and get the feel of the writing. if it happens id be glad to put up a preveiw. ( it shouldnt be bad since no one reads my blog lol) any who this is katie and im leaving hahahah ttyl for now

ahh watev

ok here it is... idk what to think anymore. kenz doesnt talk to me anymore and if she stays the night she goes to sleep like 30 mins later. and she wakes up early and leaves. it makes me think shes just using me to get away from her mother. and then it makes me feel so alone. because shes basicly my only friend. alex doesnt talk to me anymore and all my old friends forgot me. and the people at school who talk to me ( like 5 people) would never talk to me out side of school. so it is true i have no friends out side. i feel like this is punishment. im being punished for something and i cant fix it. i spend everyday with my family, and there not always home. they have jobs or friends. and i have my dog and cat. is it posible to be so alone and still go on? dont worry i would never hurt me i love me lol. i just i think im pretty pathetic. to have animals as friends.
i tend to tell people anything even if its a secret

a list of mangas i love (not all of them tho i dont remembe all the names so heres just a few)

THESE ARNT ALL OF THEM THESE R JUST THE ONES I CAN REMEMBER RIGHT KNOW LOL 7 seed, Absolute Boyfriend, Beauty is the Beast, Cardcaptor Sakura, Case Closed, Chibi Vampire, Eureka Seven, FLCL, Fruits Basket, Full Metal Alchemist, Inuyasha, La Corda Doro, Mars, Nana, Naruto, Othello, Rave, Sailor Moon, Skip beat, Vampire Knight, Yu Yu Hakusho, Goong, alice 19th, meisou kuiki(ch 8) (p24) WELL THOSE R JUST SOME IF I REMEMBER ANY MORE MANGA ILLL REDO THIS HAHAHAHAHA

am i weird

ok i didnt want that kiss... not at all an im so glad it never happend. the momment that i knew what he was trying to do all i can think was eww like as if i was 7 years old im 17 turing 18 this year and i think a guy trying to kiss me is disgusting ahhhh whats wrong with me omg..... help

OMG WAT DO I DO

ok here it is...my bestest friend ever got me my first bf..i dont like him..i like her bf..but he has sex with her.. and i dont want that...me and him have mr in common then she and him..am i horrible...and idk wat to do abt my bf.. he even tryd to kiss me..ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.. i know im like 17 but omg eww. and he has personality disorder he has like 5 diff personalitys wish bugs the shit outa me what the hell do i do????? some one anyone help

ahh omg nooo

im sooo sad!! my best friend went and started cutting herself again. iv been trying to keep her from doing that but now for some stupid reason she goes and cuts. what and idiot grrr. um i have a crush ahh i hope no one reads this lol.... its on this guy in one of my classes but there is nooo way he would even like me lol. hes so idk hot but then idk its grrr ok well g2g

OMG

its been forever im so sorry. i have been up to nothing really. oh wait you know me better then that lets see hmmm. i have new classes and teachers. i have read prob 15 books since the last time iv been on here ( im a great reader and fast at it to ). no more art class yay. but courtney grad sad. i know isnt it sad im all alone now. oh wait im not lol. alex the girl in my classes shes alright :). oh and theres this kid who i sit with in health class hes ok ( aww come on i know blushing) but like always no guy would ever look my way lol. i dont care ( maybe ). anyway im happy right now, so dont burst my bubble. I MAY SPEELL ANYWAY I WANT I DONT CARE WHAT YOU THINK. ILL CAPITALIZZ WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE IT AND ILL PUT A FRICKN DOT ANY PLACE I WANT. YOU DONT LIKE IT GO FUCK UR SELF. ah huh hehehehe. anywayz like i said im happy and well yup. biology is an ok class it just makes me nervouse being in there its scaarrry hahaha. umm my gramps is rebuilding me a volkswagon omg yay. my parents are looking for a car for me. and hopefully ill get me drivers liscence. oh but i have to learn everything first ( im 17 i know lamn huh). not my fault my past post have been watever post i may do these everyday or when i feel like im alone enough n da house that i can write now wat im feeling so if anybody actuly reads this. YAY FOR YOU THANK YOU FOR ACTULY READING WAT I HAVE TO SAY!!!!!!
well thats all i have to say for now ttyl